8-8-02 Extra
Flying
IPS Features
This bit of
information from Lou McCasland was relayed to us from Lorna Lane, wife if DJ
immortal Chris Lane.
Organization:
Castroville Airport, Inc.
When one engine
fails on a twin engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to
the scene of the crash.
Blue water Navy
truism; There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.
Never trade luck
for skill.
The three most
common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing
that?", "Where are we?" and " Ooh Shit!"
Weather forecasts
are horoscopes with numbers.
Airspeed,
altitude or brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.
A smooth landing
is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication.
Mankind has a
perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!
If the wings are
traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore,
unsafe.
Flashlights are
tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead
batteries.
Navy carrier
pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to pee.
Flying the
airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground
incapable of understanding it or doing anything about it.
When a flight is
proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.
Just remember, if
you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.
Advice given to
RAF pilots during W.W.II. When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to
strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as
possible.
The Piper Cub is
the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you. (Attributed to
Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)
A pilot who
doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum. (Jon
McBride, astronaut)
If you're faced
with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible. (Bob
Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
If an airplane is
still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the bastard down. (Ernest K. Gann,
author &aviator)
Though I Fly
Through the Valley of Death I Shall Fear No Evil For I am at 80,000 Feet and
Climbing (sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating location Kadena, Japan).
You've never been
lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F.Crickmore - test pilot)
Never fly in the
same cockpit with someone braver than you.
There is no
reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime (sign over squadron ops desk
at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).
What is the
similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the
pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
Without
ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.
If something
hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
Basic Flying
Rules:
1. Try to stay in
the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near
the edges of it.
3. The edges of
the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and
interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.