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It's
become kind of a running joke in our Sunday school class that my husband
and I are going to verbally spar. Last week, when I took a seat across
the circle from the ole hubster instead of smack dab against him,
someone quipped, "Oh, now you two can't even sit next to each
other!" The truth of the matter really is; we rather enjoy (or at
least I do) – calling each other to the mat when the truth gets
twisted. So last week, when the "Question of the week"- the
icebreaker designed to get the class a talkin', was: "What
attribute do you get from your mother", my husband said,
"well, it's not necessarily a good thing, but I get my short fuse
from her." And so naturally, from across the circle, I piped up,
"Boy howdy, that's the truth." Which of course caused another
member of the class to note, "Even across the circle, she can't
behave herself." When it
was my turn to answer the question, I said that I tended to worry things
to death like my mother, and even knowing I was doing it was no help. I
worry ESPECIALLY, I said, about my children, which I happen to know is a
trait I share with my mother. My husband added his two cents of scathing
commentary about how true this was, and the talk continued. One man
confessed that he was demanding like his mother, and went on to cite how
she had raised him with strict expectations of order and discipline.
From across the circle (where, coincidentally, HIS wife was sitting),
she piped up, "Oh, honey, I don't see that characteristic of her in
you AT ALL. I just want to offer up as encouragement to you that you
seem so very laid-back and mellow around the house. I think I need to
praise you here and let you know what a wonderful husband and father you
are." Which,
you know, was really wonderful of her to say. Only, I couldn't help but
think that encouragement like that should not be encouraged in our
group. Because, well, errrr.... it makes me look really bad. My kind of
spiteful malice seemed extra raw in light of her kind and uplifting
ways, and if her kind of niceness continued, well, it was going to make
me look even WORSE the next time my caustic mouth flew open with one of
my trademark cryptic remarks. OKAY! So
I KNOW it is church. Well, actually, Sunday School. And the whole point
of it is to become more like God and do unto others, etc, etc. I get
that. But the way I see it, God knows my heart, and He knows that
when I, say, correct my hubby when he misreads a word, or when I tell a
less than flattering story, GOD KNOWS I AM DOING SO WITH GREAT LOVE!!!! All
right, I am justifying here. It is really hard to change human nature,
you know. When we got home from church last Sunday I relayed the little
incident of contrast and comparison to my oldest son, who got a laugh
over the whole thing. Because he too is an oldest child with a penchant
for the jibe, he could relate to the fact that I sometimes open my mouth
and let it fly without worrying about it being kind or encouraging. "It
made me look really bad!" I laughed, as I finished the story. "Well,
Mom," he said, with a dead-serious look on his face. "Perhaps
YOU should TRY to be more uplifting and encouraging to Dad at Sunday
School. I bet he'd like that." I replied that I bet he would too,
but that he'd probably be dead of a heart attack from the shock if I
countered one of his stories with gentle and kind praise. I am pretty
sure he'd start looking under the house immediately upon returning from
church for the pod underneath which had held the alien who had
taken my place. Luckily
for me, my hubby can dish it out as good as he gets it, so our
relationship works on the level that neither of us harbors an ill will
towards the other's attempt at levity. Most of the time. Except for when
it gets out of hand, which, you know, sometimes happens. Humor has a way of snowballing and knocking everyone down in its path- probably why I should really attempt to curb it a bit at times, especially, I guess, in church. Still, I can't help but think that if certain super-supportive, ultra-uplifting couples would just KNOCK IT OFF, the rest of us could enjoy ourselves a little bit more from our seats, across the circle.
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