10-25-01, Side Streets, Kimra Traynor Herb, 1027 words

Experience helps with a kindergarten teacher
By Kimra Traynor Herb
IPS Features

Life has this strange way of throwing  you curve balls. When my husband and I took our seats in the tiny little chairs of our youngest's kindergarten classroom, we were prepared for the worst. After all, this was our third child; the third time we had wedged our grown up bodies onto a tiny little chair to face off with a kindergarten teacher, and we pretty much knew what to expect.

The first time we went a round with the kindergarten teacher, we were naive. I guess both of us fully expected to be congratulated on our fine parenting skills; to be praised for sharing such a wonderful and well-rounded child with the school, and certainly we expected to hear how brilliant our first-born son was. What we were in no way prepared for, was the onslaught of bad news his kindergarten threw our way. Our son, the light of our life, was progressing slowly in motor skills, he had no interest in coloring (a sin, it seemed, for a kindergarten student), he was restless, he interrupted, he continually talked, he had trouble following directions, and then, she dropped the big bomb. "You might want to consider," she said, "that because he had an August birthday, and is so young, allowing him to repeat kindergarten."

What the.....?

This was our bright light; our shining star, our prodigy. It only took my husband a moment to recuperate from the shock of hearing her assessment before he retaliated with his own theories about education; how it is more important to make the child LIKE school than to force him to color; to encourage each and every child on his or her own level--that we would certainly NOT consider holding back our bright,bright son, and, (here he pulled out his big guns) when HE was a child in kindergarten, the most challenging task of the day would involve poking toothpicks into a sweet potato and watching it grow over the next few weeks.

"And now," he concluded, leaving the teacher nearly in tears from his onslaught, "I am an aeronautical engineer. So I don't think I suffered any from lack of education."

Round two was just two years later when the teacher told us our second born; our gregarious and personable child ALSO could not sit still; that he would rather run than to write (a sin, it seemed, that both of our boys shared at the age of five), and most of all, they were terribly worried because he drew his people without any appendages at all. No arms, no legs, just a head and a body with a wobbly smile.

"But he's just five years old!" I protested, when she pulled out the drawing he had made of our family. The four of us were just eight stacked balls with wobbly smiles and misplaced eyes, a sign, she noted, of a deeply disturbed child.

"Only a child with zero self esteem draws himself without any arms or legs." She concluded.

Before I could even shed one tear over my poor son's diagnosis, my hubby ripped into her with HIS analysis of why he felt that if our child was not succeeded to his potential; the failing was in HER, the teacher, and not in our son. Once again, he finished with his sweet potato story, and once again, the teacher ushered us out, beaten and agreeing that we should indeed give the boy some time.

As it turned out, both boys got through their early school years and are flourishing well. Both are now well-rounded, good students, and manage to sit entire school days without falling out of the chairs or causing any problems. They now draw people with arms and legs, and both of them STILL don't like to color.

So there we were, once again, in a kindergarten classroom, perched in tiny chairs, and bracing ourselves for the worst. Though it had been eight years since he had uttered it, I could see my hubby practicing his sweet-potato big finish, and I steeled myself not to take anything my son's teachers said too seriously.

They thanked us for coming, and then opened the folder. "We'd like you to take a look at your son's handwriting." They said, handing us a sheet of paper. Uh-oh. Here it comes. I thought, willing myself to look. And here it came..... they dropped the bombshell. "We think he is doing fabulously!"

What? What did they say?

"We just LOVE him!" One of his teachers gushed, (she GUSHED, I SWEAR she did!) and the other added,

"Oh yes, we LOVE him! He is such a smart boy! He is so wonderful; a great student; just look at his handwriting- it is marvelous!" They continued to onslaught us with praise for our son, offering nothing but good words about him, and finished it with the traditional "Any questions?"

This was usually the part where we retaliated. Instead, we were struck dumb with the knowledge that our child, it appeared, was perfect. Finally I thought of something. "What about his behavior? He's so much younger than his brothers..... sometimes he can be a bit spoiled."

"Oh, no, not him!" They chimed. "In fact, he is an example of good behavior! He had a rough day or two at the beginning of the year, but once he learned the rules; he has never broken them since. We wish all of our students could be as well behaved as your son."

Curve ball indeed. We walked to the car unable to speak. In some strange way, it was a letdown- here we had all these great stories of our older children who were given such grim outlooks in kindergarten and now were taking honors courses and making straight A's..... and no forum to share.

“He's perfect." I turned to my husband.

"I knew that already." He replied. "They all are. It's just too bad," he concluded, "that I wasn't able to tell them that I know they are all perfect, whether or not they agree."

"Yeah." I concurred. "And I really missed the sweet potato story."  

  -30-

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