10-25-02 Side Streets, Kimra Traynor Herb
Problems of Eating and Driving
By Kimra Traynor Herb
IPS Features
I have a real
problem when it comes to traveling and eating. The problem is this: when I am
traveling, I cannot stop eating. This doesn't pose such a problem on a short,
four hour trip, like last weekend when I traveled to my sister's wedding,
unless, of course, I overdo it. Which I always do. The long, twenty-hour doozy
trips, however, usually leave me nursing a bad tasting Pepto Bismol cocktail for
days on end.
This whole
eating frenzy began when my husband and I first got married. Always indulgent of
my whims, he (if not happily) stocked up on the requisites for travel: soda pop,
gum, chips and candy. The chips of preference are either Pringles or Munchos,
with Munchos coming in a hard first.
In those halcyon
young days, the only side effects I would get from the cycle of pain- i.e.
driving and eating, eating and driving, was a jaw which ached from chewing so
much gum. Other than that, I saw nothing wrong with pounding down several bags
of chips, frequent stops for burgers and more pop, and candy of every type. My
hunger was fueled by boredom which came from staring out at road signs and
highways which stretched endlessly into the distance, like a lesson from my
early art days on perspective. From my perspective, the road would never end,
and a bag of Munchos surely helped dull the pain of the monotony.
Last weekend as
we prepared to travel, I told myself that I would NOT take anything which would
result in a big fat aching tummy ache to my sister's wedding. After all, I
reasoned, I wanted to be in peak physical condition for make-up doing,
hair-fixing, and all the other very important job qualifications which came with
being matron of honor. So I decided, at first, that I would not pack a cooler
nor a supply of crunchy or sweet side items which usually are staples of any of
my travels.
Let me state for
the record that I held firm to my resolve to travel snack free for about 4
hours. And then a little thought began to niggle at the back of my brain.
"What if," the voice asked, quite reasonably, "the boys want
snacks on the road? If you are not prepared, you are going to end up shelling
out MILLIONS OF DOLLARS for road snacks purchased from overpriced gas stations
and fast food restaurants." The voice had a good point, you have to admit.
So when I first began to pack snacks for the trip, it was the with the intention
that the BOYS would indulge in all the chowing down, while I demurely nibbled on
perhaps an apple, maybe a grape, but certainly nothing along the lines of the
chili cheese fries (extra large) which I found myself consuming on the heels of
a bag of chewy Sweet Tarts and a bag of Munchos on the trip home.
The chili cheese
fries were so good, so greasy, that when I decided to chase them down with a
fried apple pie, it SEEMED like a good idea. By this point, my wedding duties
had been completed and my little sis had been smoothly married in a lovely
ceremony. Now I just had to travel the several hundred miles home without making
myself sick; a task, it seems, that I was simply not up to completing.
The day after
was when I paid the real price. I woke up feeling like I had swallowed a bowling
ball- and one covered in spikes, to boot. No hangover could have felt worse than
my chili-cheese fry aftereffects, and my stomach was STILL hurting when I went
to bed that night.
"Errrrrggggggh!"
I moaned, clutching my painful gut. "I think I am
going to die!"
"Perhaps,"
My husband suggested, rubbing on my sore stomach, "It was all that you ate
last night."
To that, I could
only moan, and demand that he put his hand back on my sore stomach. (I am not a
good sick person). I promised myself, as I laid there in abject misery, that the
NEXT time I traveled, I would resist the urge to overindulge to avoid paying
such a steep price.
"This is
the LAST TIME I will ever be sick from eating poorly on a trip!" I said
aloud, as I clutched my aching tummy." Seeing the dubious look in my
husband's eyes, I remained firm in my resolve. "I mean it! From here on
out, nothing but water and fruit for this gal- no more salt/sweet syndrome and
this is written in stone!"
The next day I
woke feeling good as new and the promises of the night before seemed
unnecessarily harsh in the light of the new day. Luckily, no major trips are
planned for the near future, so I still have some time before going back on my
words. As I said, when it comes to traveling and eating, I have a real problem.