2-10-02, Side Streets, Kimra Traynor Herb
Kimra--Olympic Star for a Day
By Kimra Traynor Herb
IPS Features
I'm spinning,
spinning...... the grand finale is almost upon me....I can feel the crowd
roaring..... wait. I wake up, rub the crust from eyes and remember that the last
time I tried to ice skate I spent nearly an hour trying to get my skates on
properly (have you ever tried to lace those suckers?) and then the next two
hours square on my..... well, let's just put it this way- if they could invent a
large skate which fit securely on the seat of my pants- then I MIGHT have a
chance in participating in the sport of ice-skating.
I always told my
kids that when I was young, I was a great skater. The reality of my first adult
attempt to skate pretty much proved my childhood skating ability to be an
exaggeration on the level for which I am most famous, among my family. My boys
still laugh when they think of me sitting there on the ice, periodically
struggling to my feet, only to fall flat on my hind end once again.
Couple the fact
that I have virtually no athletic prowess with the brutal truth that I am almost
forty years old...... I have to face the fact that the only way I will ever
participate in a Winter Olympics is if they begin an event where middle aged
mothers take their five year olds and cram them into winter clothing in record
time. Now that would be a sport in which I could excel. Since that is probably
not going to happen; I am going to have to be content to watch the Olympics on
television, just like the rest of the world.
When they first
started to talk about the Olympics, this fall, it seemed so overshadowed in
light of all the fighting and terror going on in the world. I couldn't imagine
that the time would come that I would care about who could travel, headfirst
down an icy mountain path on a small, flat sled.
"That's the
skeleton race." My youngest son informed me, while I was expressing this
sentiment to my family.
"I know
that," I said, "I just couldn't remember what it was called."
"My teacher
showed us pictures of that yesterday at school." He was fired up with
"Olympic fever" , and reminded me for the thousandth time that he was
supposed to watch the opening ceremonies as his "homework."
"'Member when Mom said she could ice skate?" My middle son
interjected.
"More like
butt skate." My oldest quipped, grabbing his backpack.
"Hardee-ha,
ha!" I barked, "Just laugh it up! One day you'll be older, and you'll
try to do something that you once did well, and find that it isn't so
easy!"
My son, who will
be fifteen this summer (aka, in his mind immortal and forever at the peak of his
mental, physical, and comical game) gave me that 'oh, all right, let's
humor Mom look' that he has become quite famous for these days.
Well, Jimmy
crack corn, and I don't care how I skate, or rather, do not ice skate. I am
getting as caught up in the whole Olympic fever as my youngest son. In fact, I
cannot imagine missing an event- in my mind I will remain glued to the
television for the entire two week period, mentally swooshing down a snow-capped
mountain or spinning like in my dream on the ice with Michelle Kwan.
My patriot side
hopes that America will just plain flat out sweep the Olympics. I used to
half-heartedly allow some of my cheers to go in the direction of Canada, as I
grew up close the Canadian border and felt like our northern neighbors were our
good friends. (I didn't know anyone personally, mind you, it was just a feeling
I had). Not this year, baby. It's good old USA or nothing. I am hoping that I
will hear the National Anthem so much that I will begin singing the anthem in my
sleep.
Hey....... now
that's an idea. I can sing......even ask my kids. While my athletic abilities
leave a lot to be desired, music has been an on-going event in my life. I try to
imagine singing in front of the zillions of folks who have turned into the
Olympics, people who are just enduring the beginning of things to get to the
skating, the skiing, the hockey, and I realize that even in an arena in which I
excel; I am not Olympic material. I'll just have to leave the Olympics on the
television, and oh yeah, in my dreams, where REALLY, I am a truly fabulous
skater.