3-12-02, Side Streets, Kimra Traynor Herb

Nothing Changes in a School Lunchroom
By Kimra Traynor Herb
IPS Features

My youngest son and I have a standing date every Monday and Friday for lunch. I check into the school, get my visitor's pass, and spend forty five minutes inhaling the lunchroom scent which has not changed since my childhood. Souring milk, ketchup, and little kid smell all mingle together to create that aroma of educational culinary delights at their best. Last Monday, however, I was late. Late as in: really, really late. I left home already behind schedule; my writing had left me temporarily unaware of how late the hour was becoming. The problem was compounded when I encountered not only a train, but a flag man on my travels. Suffice it to say, my son was not pleased when I showed up with just minutes left of his lunchtime.

"Mom!" He cried. "Did you realize it was Monday?!"

I told him that yes, indeed, I knew the day; I had just become waylaid and I was very sorry.

He was saving you a seat, you know." One of the little girls from his class informed  e. (I guess she wanted to add to my already huge guilt).

"I know." I replied. "I just got busy and lost track of the time."

He stared at me long and hard. "Okay." He said, and then smiled. At least you are here in time to take my lunchbox home with you, so I don't have to have it crowding up my backpack."

I told him that it was nice to be needed, even if it was just as an official lunchbox removal service.

His teachers greeted me, and I told them that I was embarrassed at arriving for lunch with just seconds left on the clock.

"You are welcome to come out onto the playground with us." One of them generously invited.

The playground! Ah, my favorite "subject" when I was in elementary school. I told her thank you very much, I would enjoy that immensely.

At first, my son was pleased by this abrupt change in our twice weekly schedule. After all, he was the only child who had his mother holding his hand (and his lunchbox) as we made our way to the playground. Once upon the playground, however, his demeanor changed, and he stared at me long and hard. "How long are you staying?" He asked, looking longingly at his group of friends.

"Oh, I just thought we'd make up for missing lunch; do a little talking, that kind of thing." I told him.

"Oh." He said, and jotted off with three other little boys. I stood, watching them play, smiling at their enthusiasm and energy. I thought to myself that my little boy had to be the sweetest, most charming child who had ever roamed the playground. It was then, just as the thought had barely formed in my mind, that I saw him raise his middle finger and point it at another child.  I lurched my way over to him and yelled, "Don't do that! Do you know what that means?!!!!"

The recipient of his upraised finger crowded close, apparently interested in hearing the answer. My son's eyes widened, and he squeaked, "No, what DOES it mean?"

Darn all those PG-13 movies we had let him watch with his older brothers, I thought, and quickly wondered how I was going to get out of this mess. "Well, I can't tell you the word," I said, "but it is a BAD one. A VERY BAD ONE! And you must never point that finger at a person again!"

All the boys stared at me, and my son promised to never do it again, but, he wondered, couldn't I PLEASE just tell him what it meant? In order to get off the hook, I told him I would tell him later (a promise I admittedly have broken, as the subject has been dropped) and gave him a quick hug.

"Mom?" He said, pulling away from my grasp.

"What, honey?" I replied.

"WHEN are you going to leave?"

"Why?" I asked, stung.

"I want you to leave." He said.

"But Mrs. Cash invited me to come out with you." I said, "Because I missed lunch."

"Okay." He nodded. "Now you came out, and now you can go home. You probably have lots to do."

Hey, I can take a hint. Having a mom on the playground, especially one who catches you doing your worst, is seriously damaging even to a five year old's social life.     "Mom!" He called out to me as I picked up the lunchbox and headed off to my car.

"Yes?" I answered.

"Friday, don't be late!"

  -30-

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