3-4-02, Side Streets, Kimra Traynor Herb

A Cold Makes Me Comatose
By Kimra Traynor Herb
IPS Features

When it comes to being sick, I'll admit that I am not the most stoic. Okay, so I am a total weenie. It doesn't take a lot to set me back; a mere cold can render me nearly comatose. My hubby, who sails through things like pneumonia while playing soccer, doesn't understand that my I ability to cope with illness is not an act on my part, but rather just a shortcoming by my body to rally to life's pains. I WANT to "tough it up" and go on with life, despite whatever it is that ails me; I just cannot.

Tuesday evening I started to feel the beginnings of a sore throat. Another of my many downfalls is that usually, no matter how great my suffering; I avoid the doctor's like the plague. I don't like being weighed in public; I hate the idea of a virtual stranger poking my body; and I most of all hate prescriptions, which usually leave me feeling worse than the initial illness. As the evening went on, I realized that this wasn't just any old sore throat. This was a humdinger of a sore throat, and a niggling thought in the back of my mind told me that I needed to get to the doctor
and get this looked at.

Drats. So the next morning, bright and early, I was up on that scale. To my great joy and happiness, I discovered that the doc's scale read about three pounds lighter than mine at home, so that part wasn't too bad. The rest was routine, until the nurse came back with the results of my throat culture.

"It's positive." She announced.

So it was the big "S"- strep throat; my first case. I knew I was probably in trouble. I had seen my children through this illness numerous times, and they always told me that their throats REALLY hurt, and their general lack of energy always surprised me. Yikes. I felt worse immediately upon diagnosis. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic, and since I am allergic to penicillin ("Too bad," the nurse clucked, "we could have given you a big ole shot in the hind end and you could have felt better in six hours.") I was prescribed an alternative which has me taking two giant pills, four times a day, for five days. Fantastic. But in the quest for better health......

I sailed through day one of my illness with more than my usual stamina. I cooked a big dinner, did the laundry, and even managed some laundry. But by evening, I was limping.

"It's time for our run!" My husband announced.

"You've got to be kidding me." I replied. "Do you know how cold it is out there?! And did you forget....?" I shot him the evil eye, "that I have STREP THROAT!? What are you trying to do, kill me?"

He went alone. I managed to run a hot bath, put on my leopard jammies, and crawl into bed. Within seconds, I was asleep, dreaming strange and curious dreams which I attributed to the antibiotic.

When morning arrived, my husband literally had to pull me out of bed. I felt like a truck had run over my neck, and that perhaps my head was merely pretending to remain attached to my body. My left ear pounded, my throat was on fire, and my skull was ablaze with the kind of pain I had never before experienced. In short, I was my usual sick self. I got everyone off to school and pondered the possibility of productivity. There was no hope. I crawled into bed with a book and suffered until I fitfully fell asleep; waking only periodically to wipe the drool off my cheek, and to stuff another dose of antibiotics down my throat.

Miraculously, by afternoon, I was a new woman. My formerly blazing throat was now just mildly discomforting, and my headache had nearly dissipated. It was a miracle of epic proportions! So pleased was I with my newfound health that I made the bed, did the laundry and began to return to the productive life of the living.

My hubby, who had called early in the morning to check on me, only to be met with the bad news that I was pretty sure that A. I was dying, so get ready to take on the care of the boys full time; and B. Everyone was going to catch this monster illness, so realize that any scratch in his throat could mean this same awful fate for him, called back after lunch to see if it was time to dig out my will.     "I am feeling better!" I chirped (well, not exactly 'chirped' but at least I was no longer talking in my little scratchy voice).

I thought I heard the receiver drop as his shock and surprise registered. "Really?!" His relief was apparent. "That is pretty great news!" I could hear him mentally sighing his relief that he would no longer be single handedly responsible for getting our three boys to their various after school activities.

I hung up the phone and thanked my lucky stars that I, for once, had not been so resistant to getting medical care, and went out to join the world of the living once again.

  -30-

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