4-23-02, Side Streets, Kimra Traynor Herb

Parent in the Shadows
By Kimra Traynor Herb
IPS Features

Growing up, I would beg my dad to drop me off at the remotest corner of the parking lot. The way I figured it, if I came strolling from the nether regions of the tar expanse, no one would realize that I wasn't a totally savvy and independent chick. (Aka: without parents). My parents provided me with a good and loving home, and I couldn't fault them for that, but gosh, they were just so...... embarrassing.

Now I am the mom. And I am not, I repeat, NOT embarrassing. Tell it to my oldest son. Yesterday the big ding dang ta-do of all time occurred; the opening of the SuperWalmart a few miles down the road. My son arranged to hitch a ride with his dad on the way to work in order to play his French horn in the band, which was celebrating with music this momentous event. I was told that he would return to school after the several hour celebration with a buddy's parent. Since I had a busy day planned with my Community Bible Study group and errands, I was relieved to know that he would be ferried back to the high school safely. I was on my way to bible study when my cell phone rang.

"Hey Mom." (This is how he always starts any phone conversation with me.)
    "Yes?" I replied, my curiosity piqued as to the source of the call.     "Mom, we have to be at the high school at 10:45, not noon like I thought."

I asked what did that mean in terms of his return trip with Paul's father, and he told me that Paul's dad would now be unavailable for the earlier return. Calculating in my head, I told him I would leave my bible study early and take him and his friends back to the school. And then I said the unthinkable: "I'll see you in a few minutes."

"A few minutes?" Even over the cell phone his voice sounded hesitant.     "Yes, I am coming down to the Walmart before I go to bible study to hear you guys play."

He gulped. "Well.......errr.....we're kind of done."

I looked at the dash front clock which read 8:15 and inquired as to why, if they were done with their big opening numbers, were they not to be back at the school until 10:45?

"I don't know, Mom! Just please, please, don't come now."

I mumbled something somewhat comforting and then drove into the parking lot of SuperWalmart. It didn't take me long to find my son and his cam padres, even in a SuperWalmart the only area to hold that bunch's interest was the Electronics Department. The group of four or five young high schoolers stood bunched over the CD's, discussing which they would buy next and the merits of this and that band. Finally, one of them looked up and poked my son.

"Ummm, it's your mom." He said.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked.

My son looked as horrified as if he had just witnessed a brutal murder. "What?" And then, softer, all the while looking in another direction (maybe no one would notice this mad woman talking to him and suspect he had a parent) "Mom! I said 10:30! Come back later." Thinking it over, and still looking towards Domestics, "PLEASE!"

"I don't understand!" I bellowed in my usual loud voice in front of all of his friends, "If you are done now, what do you intend to do for two hours in a Walmart! I need to take you back to school right now."

His head pointing in a forty five degree angle from my face, he hissed again, "PLEASE!"

"I'll give you ten minutes." I compromised. "I have a few things I need to get."

He caught up with me not one minute later in the hardware section where I was buying some paint. "Mom, good news, JD said I could ride back to the school  with his dad, so there is no need to worry and you can go to your bible study right now."

I pursed my lips. "I just don't get it. Where is JD's dad? And did he SAY it was okay to take you back, or did anyone even ask him?"

My son assured me that yes, JD's father was in the store, and yes, he had been asked and given the green light to OPERATION TWO MORE HOURS IN WALMART.

I sighed and loaded up my purchases, wondering what the hey was happening when my own son couldn't stand to be around me in public. And  then it dawned on me...... he.....was......EMBARRASSED of me! Of me, the super, ultra cool, never embarrassing, ME!" Oh, how the tables had turned. I practically limped to my car (okay, so it's a van, that's not so embarrassing.... is it?) and wondered how the me of yesterday had been replaced by the current EMBARRASSING me? Embarrassing or not, I vowed that the minute one of my sons begged to be dropped off on the far corner of the parking lot, I would resist and  insist on personally walking him up to the door, bidding him audieu with a big mommy smacker right on the cheek. Those boys don't even KNOW embarrassing, I thought; they should have had my parents!

  -30-

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