5-7-02, Side Streets, Kimra Traynor Herb
Lifestyle Changes when Husband's Away
By Kimra Traynor Herb
IPS Features
My husband is
getting cranky because he has to go away tomorrow on business to Canada for a
few days. He hates staying in hotels, eating out, and most of all, being away
from home. He thinks that the kids and I are really broken up about his leaving
too, which we are on one level, but what he doesn't realize is that when he is
gone I revert to a level of parenting and a lifestyle in which he could not
exist.
Last week he was
gone for a few days and when he called from the hotel, he told me that he had
eaten at The Atlanta Bread Company for dinner. "Just soup and a
sandwich." He lamented, "Not like a good meal at home." The good
meal at home that the kids and I had enjoyed that evening, sans Daddy, was a big
bowl of cereal for each person, chased down by a popsicle. That's the kind of
life the kids and I live when my hubby's not around to monitor us.
Generally, I
always have the best of intentions to keep up the pretense that I care about
proper nutrition and good and healthy meals even when my husband isn't there to
remind me. However, the reality of the situation is that my three boys have some
sort of activity each and every day following school. Whether it is soccer
practice, a soccer game, band practice, a playgroup, or tutoring, my three young
men without driver's licenses need a ride SOMEWHERE and fast- and I am just the
mama on wheels to provide that ride. Oh, and did they mention that three of
their closest friends ALSO need rides- probably because THEIR mothers are way
too busy cooking the pot roast or sauteeing veggies to provide the wheels. So
off we are- until the end of the event which finds us starving and without the
time to cook a well balanced meal.
"What do
you think?" I asked last week, reaching into the cupboard, "Poptarts
or cereal?"
"Mom!"
My oldest son was shocked. "That's not a meal!"
"What if I
threw in a few Jeno's pizza rolls for good measure?" I tempted, digging
into the far corners of the freezer.
"Why didn't
you say so!" He replied. "Make my cereal CrunchBerries!"
So it
goes.....we eat on the run, watch goofy shows on television, and
"forget" to clean up after ourselves. My sons play their music way
louder than normal, and have friends over much longer than the usual after
school hours permit. Since I have no one to talk to, I don't care that I can't
hear myself think, and if I think, I may realize that I am desperately lonely
without my man, so we just ride the tide of fun.
We can usually
exist like this, in a state of suspended childhood, for about four days before
it starts to get really old and all of us want Dad to come home and bring back
some discipline and order to our by then unruly lives. The CrunchBerries are
losing their luster and corn dogs are really only best eaten about once in a
lifetime.
Tomorrow, it all
begins again, and at the moment, the kids and I are looking forward to the loose
and carefree structure (or lack thereof) that I will certainly provide. I tell
myself that instead of cereal, we may heat up toaster waffles, and I will at the
very least open a can of fruit to give the illusion of having some sort of
matronly nurturing genes in my body. As for my husband, he has no idea of the
realm of chaos which exists without his firm hand at the wheel of our family
craft. We instead drift aimlessly, lost at sea and loving it (for a moment, at
least) until we finally have the good sense to be scared and wish for the
madness to end.
I sometimes
wonder if I had to be a single parent, would I allow my kids to eat copious
amounts of sugar and provide little in the way of good nutrition. I scoff at
that thought. Left alone with the daunting task of raising up three boys on my
own on a full time basis, I am sure that I would come through in the clinch and
be an even better parent than I am now. Which....... wouldn't be all that
difficult, as I am often falling dubiously short of the ideal in the parenting
arena.
"Mom?"
My youngest son asked me today, "is Dad going to Canada tomorrow?"
I told him that
he was, and he asked me if his dad would be gone for very long.
"Not long
at all, honey, just a couple of days."
"Goody!"
My son's face lit up. "Can we have cereal again for supper? Because, I
really, really like cereal for supper!"
Good thing my
husband doesn't have a job which involves a lot of energy.