Side Streets, Kimbra Traynor Herb, 6-1-01, 791 words
Kimbra the Actress
By Kimbra Traynor Herb
IPS Features
Last year, on this date, I was spending
the better part of each day sweating it out dressed as a giant kangaroo for
Vacation Bible School at our church. The experience was so exhausting, that I
vowed publicly to NEVER do anything even remotely like it EVER again. I also
made the Children's Director at our church recruit our minister to play the
theme character for this year's school. Of course, playing the part of a tour
guide, as this year's script called for, wasn't near the experience of donning a
30 pound marsupial suit, but hey, I was not complaining...... I was outa there.
"I will be able to help you set up
for our drama productions," I promised my co-worker and friend,
Alicia, "unlike last year when I was rushing around trying to get to
opening and closing."
Yesterday the Children's Director called
me. "Kimra," she said, sweetly. Uh-oh. I should have hung up
immediately. I hung on, though, and she unveiled her last minute plan for a new
character: "the crazed tourist". "And," she concluded,
"you would be PERFECT to play her!"
I tried to say no. Really. "I
promised Alicia I would be there this year to help her get ready for the drama
productions." I said. Dead silence on the other end. "What KIND of
crazed tourist?"
I finally relented.
It turns out that "Z", my
character, is a flamboyant sort with a big hat, sunglasses, too much bright pink
lipstick, loud clothing and jewelry, and, (my own personal touch) a giant pillow
stuffed into the back of her pants.
"All right, I'll do it!" I
finally said, "But ONLY for opening. I REALLY need to get ready to go
swimming during closing."
After a killer opening that had left the
kids in stitches, I was still feeling the glow of my performance. Later that
day, I was about to change into my bathing suit (to get ready for the
aforementioned swimming) when Steve, our minister, cornered me.
"Kimra!" He shouted. "Just the person I was looking for! WAIT
'til I tell you about the skit I have planned for us
to do for closing!"
"But I am not going to do my
character for closing," I replied, "I said that I was only going to do
opening this year."
"But WE NEED YOU to do
closing!" He begged. "It won't be FUNNY unless you are there."
Call me easy, but this persuasion was
working. "Oh, I am sure it would be just fine without me." I replied.
"Oh no, not at at all." He
answered. "Everyone would be greatly disappointed if Z doesn't come back to
talk about her day."
All right. So....... I am a fame junkie.
Even fame on a very, very small scale...... as in starring in a Bible school
production. When he said that everyone would be disappointed; I started to move
for my costume, explaining to a disbelieving Alicia that I REALLY had to do it,
FOR THE KIDS' SAKE, you know. So I wouldn't have time to get ready for
swimming until after the show, well, sacrifices had to be made in order for the
kids to have a wonderful and complete Bible school experience.
Here I am again, another year, another
alarmingly over-the-top costume, and another performance which can only be
described as "too much". I shame myself how I go for the cheap laughs,
wagging my giant pillow- laden bottom around as we sing the camp songs...... but
I cannot help myself. The kids eat it up, and I turn around and dish out
more..... all the while a part of me cannot believe I am up on the stage again,
sweating it out in such a
public manner.
I never learn. We are only one day into
Bible School this year and our Children's Director is already starting to make
noises about what we can do NEXT year to top this performance. Now that I have
proven myself to be so weak willing to delve into any character necessary; she
is thinking we can go back to the animal motif and perhaps explore that angle a
bit further.
"I won't be a hippo!" I warn,
thinking that I have to draw the line somewhere. "I might consider an
elephant," I continue, "as long as it is a really CUTE elephant, and
one which has some really great songs to sing for the kids. I realize how
pathetic I am; a middle-aged Bible School thespian.......and yet I recognize
that I have pretty much signed on for the long haul now. I can only
imagine where this time next year will find me...... and in what animal form.