|
|
Side |
|
|
|
My purse
gets, on average, six calls a week from my sister-in-law's purse. Let me
explain. My sis-in-law, Kassie, has my cell phone number on a speed dial
on her cell phone. Periodically (okay, often) the unlocked keypad dials
my cell phone up and gives my ole phone a ring. Or two, or three. Kassie
and I laugh about it because although the two of us lead lives too busy
to comprehend, and have scarcely a moment to give each other a call, our
purses are becoming quite intimate. Which is good, because the two of us
barely have time to sleep (I think my sis in law doesn't), let alone
make a phone call. You
know, it is the whole women's lib movement that has screwed us so that
we never have a free moment for anything other than a purse to purse
call. My sister in law has FOUR children, ages 9, 7, 5, & (almost)
3, volunteers her time as a girl scout leader, shuffles her kids from
one event to another, AND owns and operates her own business. Kassie
manages this, she says, by working at night when the kids are asleep and
the house is quiet. Which is good in theory, but in my experience I have
learned that when the kids FINALLY get to sleep and the house is quiet-
I am worn out to a nub and want to sleep myself. For me, as a writer
with mostly self-enforced deadlines, this can mean pushing those
deadlines back, back, waaaaayyyyyy back- until finally I have to sit
down and crank out a story or a few pages on my book. For Kassie, who
has bonafide customers anxiously awaiting her product- this translates
into no sleep. See, here's where I blame the women's liberation
movement. When she and I were kids, just wee little girls with the bows
still in our hair, women started getting angry that men were living the
so-called good life. High paying jobs, fancy careers- this was the life
they craved. So we grew up believing it. And it is true- women CAN do
anything men can do- sometimes better, but what about the kiddies? Well.....
the libbies said that we, superwomen of the world, can do that too!
Never mind that there are only 24 hours in the day- we can raise
perfect, wonderful children and not even break a sweat. So how
come I am sweating non-stop from this job? And why
is my purse leading a better social life than me? Last
week I had an engagement with my musical group. We were playing at
a nearby church and it was one of those older, really quiet churches.
You know, where you can hear a pin drop during prayers? Well, the
minister was only a few seconds into his sermon when I heard a strange
buzzing noise. It sounded like a hive of bees. I thought perhaps there
were microphone problems when I noticed people staring in my direction.
The buzzing sounded again. Drats! I realized with horror that the bees I
were hearing weren't bees at all- it was the buzzing of my cell phone
inside of my purse. Thankfully, I had remembered to put it on
"quiet mode" or else the entire congregation would have been
treated to "Minuet in G" in loud cell phone tones. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!
It was buzzing continually now- my voice mail apparently picking up and
then receiving one new call after another. I was afraid to touch the
dumb device for fear of actually answering a call and the entire
congregation hearing the voice on the other side. I sat quietly
mortified while it buzzed another seven or eight times, and then
blessedly, it fell quiet. After
church I checked my voice mail and found I had six new messages. One by
one I listened to them and heard the clankings and rustlings which
signified calls from Kassie's purse. Occasionally, I could hear the
muffled voices of my nieces and nephews and what might have been the
car. Somehow, this comforted me. Even though we both lead the crazy
lives of madwomen in the 2000's, our purses and cell phones have such a
nice little relationship blooming, and it gives me hope that one day we
too will spend as much time on the phone as our purses now do. "I've
really got to remember to lock my keypad." Kassie told me, one time
after I reported that her phone had left a 20 minute message on my cell
phone. "No
don't." I told her. "It's nice when a family has purses which
always keep in touch."
|
