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Over the
years, my hubby and I have taught our three boys several valuable life
lessons. For example, my husband has installed in them the value of hard
work for the sake of hard work. Even as I write this, my two teenaged
sons and my husband are over at our church, where they have been since 8
a.m. this Saturday morning, doing landscape work. My husband's theory
is, if you make 'em work hard enough when they are young; they won't be
afraid of it when they grow up and have to do it. Maybe one day they'll
even appreciate this lesson that got forced on them by dear old dad. Another
one of my husband's contributions to the boys' development has been
teaching them the value of a dollar. And how not to squander their
dough; to carefully save and plan for major purchases and always,
always, squirrel some money away for that rainy day which is surely just
around the corner. This lesson was embraced by my oldest and my
youngest; and met with great resistance by my middle son, the
grasshopper who always seems to think, "fiddle dee dee, there's
always tomorrow to start saving- I want some nice collector's cards
today!"- but even he is starting to put money in his savings
account now- the picture of the despondent life of total poverty my
hubby has painted has him worried that he might indeed end up living in
a "van down by the river." My husband has also taught them
important qualities like manners- always chew with your mouth
closed- never chomp a meal- don't slurp, keep those elbows off the
table, and these lessons they can carry with them for life. But I think,
when they grow up and take stock of all they have learned at our hands
as youth, it may be the lesson they learned from their mama that could
mean the most to them. Mama
(me) says: never be afraid to be who you are. Even if that means being a
big ole fool right out there in front of God and everybody. I don't just
preach the message; I live it. The boys just spent a week with me
watching my theories in action. While other mothers were busy mixing up
vats of kool-aid and fingerpaint for crafts, their mother spent the past
week dressed in a large red foam lobster suit, jumping, singing and
snapping her claws. Every year at our vacation bible school, which
we hold at a nearby YMCA camp and turn the event into a day camp
experience; I volunteer (okay demand) to be given the part of whatever
mascot the bible school has. This year, it was a red lobster. I have to
admit that the roar of excitement from the kids when they see
"Scuba" dancing into the room, the castanets clicking within
my giant pinchers to the beat of the music, is part of the reason I love
it so much. Apparently, I am a natural born nutball! Who knew? But the
other part of the reason I love doing this so much is that it shows all
the kids, even my own, that it is OKAY to be an over the top fool- in
fact, it is better than okay- it is FUN! The first year I dressed up
like this, my oldest son was a pre-teen and trying so hard to figure out
if he where he would fit in the whole cosmic universe of junior high
school. It was pretty embarrassing that year when his dear old mom camp
vamping it up in a crazy get up, saying weird things and right there in
front of his friends, too! But by this point in his life, five years
later, he has decided that it is pretty cool to be weird, and he
embraces my behavior as part of being in a "artsy" family. The
other day we were having a conversation, the boys and I, about growing
up and finding your place in the world. I was saying that I was proud
that I was a nerd; that I had always been a nerd. My oldest son piped in
that he was a nerd too; and proud of it; my middle son, said,
"Yeah, I am a nerd too!" and from the back seat, perched on
his booster seat, my six year old chimed in, "And I am a little
nerd." My kids are bullet-proof, man. Because whenever any ole jock
or pseudo-"cool" socialite at school ever opens their mouth
and calls one of MY boys a 'nerd'- they'll be like, "thank you so
very much; yes I am." Barbs like that become compliments thanks to
a mother who dresses like a big red lobster on her free time and frolics
with the kiddies like a wildwoman. This lesson will help them be secure
in their place in the world; as they find it they will realize that no
answer is the "right" answer- that only if they are true to
themselves with no regard to anyone else's perceptions will they truly
be free. Oh yeah. And they'll have money in the bank, and don't forget;
they chew with their mouths closed. All thanks to some pretty good team
effort parenting.
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