9-23-01, Side Streets, Kimra Traynor Herb, 791 words

Legacy from Kindergarten
By Kimra Traynor Herb
IPS Features

Everyone has a legacy. This is the legacy I have given to my youngest son. On his folder, which tracks his daily activities as a brand new kindergarten student, he has two check marks. One says: "Talked excessively." The other: "Did not follow directions." Yesterday he came home from school on the bus with his big brothers. I could tell he had a secret lurking.... he was avoiding my eyes and not screaming in joy at having been recognized for being "extra good." So I asked him: "How was
school?"

"Fine." He replied, still avoiding eye contact.

"Did you do anything great?"

He became animated. "Yes! In gym class we played a cool game; and snack time was really great!"

Then I asked: "Did you get in trouble?"

"I don't remember." He said.

"You don't remember?" I queried, incredulous (the kid has a fabulous memory), "well, let me see your folder."

Reluctantly, he pulled the blue plastic folder out of his backpack and began to well up with tears. "I might have done something wrong," he admitted, as the tears threatened to spill.

Then I saw the check marks: "Talked excessively" (#3 on the list of infractions) and "Did not follow directions." (#7 on the really extensive list of kindergarten "should not do list").

What could I say? I wanted to burst out laughing. Really. Because if you were to say: "Talks excessively, and does not follow directions...... who am I talking about?" to anyone who knows me, who is related to me, who is my friend, but most especially to my husband or my mother, they would scream, "YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT KIMRA!"

I have always talked excessively. In elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and now in whatever group setting I participate in. I was recently told by my husband, who teaches our Sunday School class, that if I could not enter the class quietly, without disturbing everyone, I would not be allowed to enter. (I arrive about 20 minutes late due to working with the children's music for the first 20 minutes of Sunday School.)

The first Sunday after he gave me the ultimatum, I entered the classroom, on tiptoe; my eyes extra-wide with exaggerated concentration; my finger to my lips in the "shhhhhhh!" motion. I made my way to my seat without a sound, while every eye was glued to me. Finally, I plopped down in my seat. "Whew!" I belted out, "I didn't think I would make it! Raymond told me that if I couldn't enter the room quietly without disturbing everyone; I would not be allowed to come!"

Everyone laughed because somehow I had managed to make my "quiet" entry even more disruptive than my usual chatter-filled arrivals.

And directions: Forget about it. I have never yet completed one successful sewing project from a pattern. I can make stuff up, with minimal and mixed success, but give me a pattern and a page of directions and all is lost.

And now my poor baby had inherited all these traits straight from the mommy gene pool. What could I say? First, I tried to be the "good" mother I knew I should be. (I've read a lot of PARENT magazines). "I know it is hard to be quiet and follow directions," I said, in my most sincere and mother-esque voice (I still find it hard to believe that I am in charge around here), "but you really need to work on it some more."

"Mommy." My little guy said, leaning his head on his small hands. "I am VERY NEW to kindergarten, you know. It's going to take some getting used to."

Spoken like a true Kimra. When cornered with behavior modification, rationalize, rationalize, rationalize.

Then I got soft. "I have to tell you, though," I said to him, "that Mommy is 38 years old and I still get in trouble every week at choir practice." Putting on my best "Mr. Jerry" voice, I said, "KIMRA HERB, COULD YOU PLEASE YOUR VOICE MORE FOR SINGING AND LESS FOR TALKING?!"

My son giggled at the thought. "Mr. Jerry yells at you?" He laughed.

"Every week. Multiple times, every week." Okay, I am not proud of it, but my talking brings a cohesiveness to the rag tag ensemble which makes up our choir; a consistency from week to week, something for the other choir members to look forward to.

Or so I rationalize.

We're two peas in a pod, myself and my youngest, and at this point all I can do is send him to his father for counseling because frankly, I want to rationalize it all away, saying, "well, he can't help it, he takes after me."
What a legacy.

   -30-

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