9-16-01, John Shearer's column, 484 words
Fall and Football
By John Shearer
IPS Features
Because I was
still hurting from the tragedies in New York and Washington, I would have loved
spending last Saturday enjoying the two pleasures of fall I like the most
mild weather and football.
The day was
simply beautiful. Although I was out of town, I would have thoroughly enjoyed
getting up after a good nightıs sleep, eating some homemade blueberry pancakes,
taking a hayride on the neighborhood tractor or horse, going to a craft fair,
and buying some apples and apple cider at a homemade apple stand. After that, I
would have enjoyed a nice picnic on one of grandmotherıs quilts at a scenic
location, and then come home to watch college football for about 11 hours.
That is the way
I would like to spend every fall Saturday from mid-September until Halloween.
Unfortunately, modern life rarely allows that to happen, even when a terrorist
attack does not occur. Usually, having to clean gutters gets in the way of going
to a craft fair. Or I realize I had signed up the month before to help the youth
at the church go to the local food bank.
This past
Saturday, I was out of town and did not get back home until close to suppertime.
But I had no trouble imagining what I would have done.
After doing a
few chores and reading in the paper about an interesting local fair that I was
going to miss, I would have sat down at the kitchen table. There, I would have
enjoyed a delicious lunch while watching Far Away State play Far Away University
in a football game that meant nothing to the people in my town.
Instead, at
about noon I started getting the shakes. I was definitely suffering football
withdrawal symptoms.
Trying to figure
out what to do, I thought about going out to the video store and renting a
couple of football movies. Then, after they were over, I could have gone outside
and seen if any of the neighborhood kids wanted to play a game of touch
football. Who cares if I would have been the only one over 14 years old playing!
On Sunday, the
sports situation was still bad. No pro football or baseball could be found on
television, and I was not a happy camper. I did not realize I had any vices or
addictions until I had trouble surviving without any sports.
I wonder what
men would do without any sports to watch. Would they suddenly become perfect and
attentive husbands to their wives? Without sports, Saturday could be renamed
Honey Do Day, and husbands could faithfully do chores for their wives. Or
perhaps they could do fun activities that their better halves enjoy doing, such
as visiting antique stores for eight hours.
Now, however,
sports is back on the air and the situation has returned to normal.
And thankfully,
so have I.
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