11-06-01, Danny McBride, 1,024 words
Clan of the Bare Cave
By Danny McBride
IPS Features
We are now a few weeks into our tour of Afghanistan. Unfortunately we are about as far along as we were before we ever went there. We have been pussyfooting along in some sort of delicate minuet as if we were shadow boxing with the Tar Baby. Try this in three-four: One-two-three-Two-two-three- -First we bomb a little/then we bomb a little/then we drop/food (two three)/I don’t see/how any-of-this/will ever do any/good (two three).
Okay, so we would now like to conduct a war for our very survival without offending anybody. Who thought this up? We were attacked, thousands of innocents died, and we are going to worry that we may upset a few people defending our lives? I think not. It is so irritating because we could be flying our sorties from Kabul already if we had a mind to. Use that airport. But that might upset the Pakistanis. Excuse me? I appreciate the fact that they have provided us with an endless supply of 7-Eleven clerks, but, Hello? We’re dying here. Or it might upset the Saudis. And just how many of the September 11th terrorists were Saudis? Most? Oh, yes, of course, the Saudi government knows nothing about this. My aching camel’s back. What a hump of junk.
I see it as two choices: win or lose. We know how to lose well. We’ve done it for years. We take half measures or politically correct measures or no measures- -Vietnam, Somalia and our response to the bombing of the U S S Cole. There are plenty of others- -The Beirut Marine barracks, our Army base in Saudi Arabia, our embassies in Africa- -It’s like a football cheer: “Kick us again, har-der”. We aren’t going to do anything much. We haven’t got what it takes to go ferret out the perps in the bare Afghani caves where they’re holed up. They’ve got terrain, weather and years of know-how in their favor, and we have no stomach to really go get them. I mean really go get them. Maybe it will take another mega-tragedy before we get serious. GAWD, I wish that were not true.
It’s a little overwhelming what really has to be done. I did a little delving into the history of this place because one of my family’s fascinating stories is about my own great-grandfather, James Mair of the Cameron Highlanders. They took a little excursion from Scotland to the Khyber Pass during what the British call The Second Afghan War, in 1878, in an attempt to keep the lines of communication open between India and Kabul. If you don’t have your world atlas handy, that’s the route between Pakistan and Afghanistan, a mountain pass 3500 feet above sea level which, until airplanes, was the main way in, out or through this mountainous part of the world. Get some perspective on this by renting the 1939 film classic Gungha Din, starring Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, Victor McLaglen and Cary Grant, with Sam Jaffe in the title role.
Great-grandpa and the boys ended up leaving the scene with no appreciable damage done to the enemy. This, remember, was back in Queen Victoria’s time when all of what is now India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Sri Lanka was the “Jewel in the Crown” of the British Empire.
But in researching this part of the world a little more, I came across the story of the first world famous battle for control of the Khyber Pass- -in 303 B C- -a battle which changed the course of world history even then. This is where Alexander the Great became Al the not-so-great- -more Al Bundy than Al Qaeda. In just one military encounter that lasted only five days, the world-conquering Macedonians were out-maneuvered and defeated by the general Chandragupta and his army. In order to negotiate a peaceful retreat, Alexander had to cede all the lands of the Indus valley that he had previously conquered, along with Badakhshan, the Hari Rud Valley and the whole of Kabul. Yup. Same place, only then it wasn’t just a city but a whole province, or nation. It’s been there 3000 years.
And of course we all know the Russians couldn’t get it done when they tried to take over this part of the world back in the 1980s. From time immemorial there has been no taking over this place. It is impenetrable. And yet a few weeks of bombing selected targets and we think that the Taliban are just going to say “We’re sorry, we quit”?
For at least twenty-three hundred years nobody has penetrated this natural fortress, and we have Admiral Stufflebeem standing in front of the press corps recently to announce how he was amazed at the resilience of the Taliban. Earth to Admiral. Did you ever take History 101?
So what’ll it be? Win or lose? Losing means the end of our civilization as we know it. Is that what you want? According to The Times of London, Al Qaeda has nuclear capability which we can be sure they are not afraid to use. They bought the plutonium from the Chechens for 700 million dollars worth of opium and heroin that has already found its way to the streets of Europe. Don’t forget that the majority of the world’s opium poppies are still being grown in Afghanistan while all this is going on. We’ve done nothing to upset that applecart at all. What did you think the Taliban were using for money? It shouldn’t be long now before they carry a suitcase bomb into Heathrow, or maybe The Vatican or heck, New York. That worked the first time. Nothing much happened in the way of retaliation, why not try it again? They have plenty of young men willing to die for their cause. Call DHL and have it shipped in.
There is also the possibilty that we could entertain the thought of winning, even if it means a real war. What have we got to lose? We’re gonna die either way. We might as well see if we can get them to cave in.
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