12-23-01, Danny McBride
They'll Be Comin' Down The Mountain
By Danny McBride
IPS Features
Sing along: “They’ll Be Comin’ Down The Mountain When They Come - -Yee Ha!! They’ll Be Comin’ Down The Mountain When They Come- -Wha Hoo!! They’ll Be Comin’ Down The Mountain, They’ll Be Comin’ Down The Mountain, They’ll Be Comin’ Down The Mountain When They Come- -Whoo Hee!!”
And who are “they”? Why the hundreds of Al Qaeda and Taliban forces that have slipped into Pakistan from Afghanistan by crossing supposedly impenetrable mountain passes and blending in with Pashtuns whose tribal lands straddle the Afghan-Pakistani border. The Pashtuns haven’t bothered to alert either the Pakistani Army or Western military forces, neither of whom they trust. The Al Qaeda and Taliban fighters have disappeared into remote tribal areas through frozen mountain passes and trails south of the Tora Bora region, avoiding the heaviest concentration of Pakistani troops.
Okay: Show of hands- -How many are “not surprised”? “Somewhat surprised”? “Or in the ‘I told-you-so” group?”
Please note: The New York Times has said “hundreds” have slipped into Pakistan, not just a few or a few dozen, in a story written by Times staff writer Douglas Frantz, writing from Islamabad, Pakistan. Hundreds.
Now another show of hands: What are the chances YOU-KNOW-WHO-SAMA could be among these “hundreds”? Thought so. He could give Elvis a run for his money. False sightings. Occasional taped appearances. Speaking of which, a cave-to-cave search in the Tora Bora Mountain section of Afghanistan has unearthed more Osama videotapes- -all overdue at Blockbuster. Okay, no. But they are said to reveal more of the wisdom of the O-man.
Did you see the tape from a week or so ago? The one our government was a little slow to release until they had the translation just right? It looked like my buddy John’s old dorm room in college. I could smell the incense and hear the sitar on the stereo. I expect they didn’t pass the bong around on camera so as not to incriminate themselves as law-breakers.
And speaking of the Tora Bora region, how many want to burst out: “Over in Killarney, Many years ago, Me Mither sang a song to me in tones so sweet and low- -Tora-Bora-Bora, Tora-Bora-Li, Tora-Bora-Bora, That’s an Afghan Lullaby”? Okay. Just me.
NBC has quoted captured Al Qaeda members as saying that Osama shaved his beard off a while ago and hit the road. Picture what he looks like clean shaven- -or hey!! How about just clean!! Those caves don’t exactly have full indoor plumbing. If he has shaved and dropped by the Men’s Wearhouse for some new threads, he could conceivably blend in anywhere he chooses. We’ve been looking at the same piece of videotape for months now- -the one where he examines his weapon and walks around a little. It’s like Ken Starr and the Starbucks cup or Monica on the rope line in the beret. Could we see something else for a change? Does anyone have any other tape? How about Ashleigh Banfield in a burqa?
We can’t catch Osama, at least for the moment, but we have caught John Walker, billed now as “The American Taliban” on all the news shows. We hear his story of leaving Northern California to study Arabic and Islamic studies in Yemen (and by the way- -put me down for the next Carnival Cruise to this exciting destination). The story we are told is that Walker made his way to Pakistan and then to Afghanistan to join the Taliban. All the reporting, all the TV talk, all the speculation is about how he will be tried- -as a traitor, in a military tribunal (he’s a citizen- -he can’t be), or just forgiven and sent home.
But what I have not heard, nor do I expect to, is this alternative scenario: What if he were really a CIA plant? Remember that CIA operative Johnny (Mike) Spann was killed in the same Mazar-e-Sharif prison where Walker was found. And they supposedly had talked just a short time before the prison uprising. What about? What was Spann doing there? The CIA has as much as admitted Spann was a spy, breaking with tradition by identifying him in the hopes of creating the first “hero” of the Afghan campaign and perhaps boosting their own sagging image. What if Walker was his contact? What if all we’ve been told about Walker is a lie, and the glorification of Spann and the vilification of Walker is really to throw everybody off track? Do you really think we’ll ever know the truth? Walker would obviously have other sources which cannot be betrayed so he must be treated as if he were a turncoat. Doesn’t the CIA have to shoot their own once in a while to protect the big picture?
And what of Osama? According to the British newspaper The Guardian, Osama bin Laden went to Dubai for ten days of medical treatment at the American hospital back in July and while there met with the local CIA agent, who was subsequently recalled to Washington. Osama was rumored to have hepatitis C and had a mobile dialysis machine at Kandahar, according to the French newspaper Le Figaro. Rich Saudi princes have private planes capable of flying all around the Gulf region for any reason they see fit, including transporting bin Laden. Sources in Washington have denied this story. But wouldn’t you?
So if Osama has had a shave, and has free air transportation to anywhere he might want to hang out for a while until things cool down, there’s no telling where he might have gone having “Come Down From The Mountain When He Comes”. He could have gone from Tora Bora to Bora Bora. And that’s no too-ra-loo-ra-lie.
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