|
|
Danny |
|
|
|
You know this one: A dog walks into a bar and just as he is about to order a drink, the bartender looks at the pooch’s heavily bandaged forefoot. “What’s the story, pardner?” asks the bartender, to which the dog replies “I’m lookin’ for the man that shot my paw”. At George W Bush’s recent prime-time news conference I half expected him to drawl that same line “I’m looking for the man who shot my Paw, or at least shot at him”. (Saddam supposedly tried to assassinate Senior Bush, so the story goes.) By the way- -what drug was Dubya on? Thorazine? Sodium pentathol? Quaaludes? I never heard him talk so slow or repeat so many things word for word over and over, like a talking Ken doll, a Manchurian Candidate or a Stepford President. “My job is to protect the American people” he said over and over, and I’m sitting here wondering how sending a few hundred thousand of the American people 10,000 miles away is going to protect them? Hal the talking computer was caffeinated compared to this performance. And did you notice the seating chart list of names he was reading from? Bush called on only certain reporters and NOT Helen Thomas for the first time in 30 years. What’s up with that? In case you don’t follow these things that closely, Ms Thomas is the dean of the White House Press Corps. She has been called on first at every news conference of every president for the past thirty years. But, of course, she’s likely to ask something Boy George wouldn’t want to hear, let alone answer. So she was ignored. The pecking order of major wire services, then national networks, then major print outlets was also ignored. The president read his notes of the seating chart and called on only those whom he thought might go easy on him. That was not always the case, of course, but then again, he didn’t answer a lot of the questions, but returned to his memorized lines “My job is to protect the American people”. He looked like the old Johnny Carson character “Floyd R Turbo, American”. All he needed was the red plaid hunting jacket and the cap with ear flaps turned down. This was clearly a crafted prime-time performance geared to convincing Joe Sixpack that Saddam was evil and he was a threat to the American people. But many of those Joes already are ready for a good war. It makes for great TV. They don’t need convincing. The other half of the US population is adamantly against George’s Folly, and probably not only did they not have their minds changed, they more than likely had their positions against the war reinforced. Look- no one wants to have Saddam over to the house for a goat-roast with the neighbors anytime soon, but magic-carpet bombing him back to the Crusades is not going to work to achieve the objectives spelled out after 9-1-1. The president has said that he wanted to unite the world. Well, he’s succeeded. Except that the majority of the major countries and a whole host of lesser ones are united against the Bush Government’s position. Even Mexico and Canada, our nifty NAFTA buddies, are not going along. When this many people say no to the US policy, what kind of dumb-ass sense does it make to keep barrelling on ahead like some out-of-control NASCAR? It’s like the Payne Stewart express. Make it stop now!! The meticulously scripted TV press conference reminded me of the prerecorded interviews we used to get in radio 35 years ago. The station would receive a recording of a musical artist answering questions The local DJ- -in this case me- -was supposed to ask questions from a prepared list of questions sent with the disc to make it sound as if the artist had really stopped by your Podunk studio for a visit. You asked the questions and played the recording and it sounded like you really had Waylon Jennings or whoever right there with you. “How has the new record done for you?” I ask, and then play the cut-one response: “I think it’s the best thing we’ve ever done.” Of course, being the mischief maker that I was, I often discarded the written transcript accompanying the recording and made up my own questions: “So, Waylon, I understand that you and the band have been having sex with farm animals” I ad lib, and then play the cut: “I think it’s the best thing we’ve ever done.” That was the press conference in a nutshell. Mr President, is it true that you will be killing tens of thousands of innocent civilians if you have this war? “I think it’s the best thing we’ve ever done”. Okay, it’s true the French and the Russians get oil from Iraq. The Germans and the Turks could win a war against Saddam alone themselves, either of them, but they don’t want to get involved. The Chinese are too smart to commit. And country after country is lining up to “Just Say No” to any kind of war. The population of this country and the majority of the people of the world are saying “Stop The Madness of King George”. My guess is Dubya’s not only trying to get rid of Saddam, but the United Nations as well. All of his right-wing wacko friends have wanted it gone for years. This kind of dissension in the ranks of The Security Council, and then the US ignoring whatever they vote, could cripple the last best hope of Earth. When all your friends are against
you, shouldn’t that give you pause for concern?
Or is that paws? In
fact I think even his Old Paw’s against it.
|
