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Danny |
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It has begun. Now all we can do is hope that it is over before the ink is dry on this copy. Heavy coalition air raids have hit Baghdad and other cities. Ground troops have crossed into Iraq from Kuwait. Iraqi Commanders and their troops have surrendered. Airstrips have been seized, as has Umm Qasr, the only major commercial seaport. Oil fields have been seized. There have been more casualties in accidents than in combat. All is going according to Rumsfeld, or so it would seem. Chemical weapons, which the French were so unsure of, have been found- -in a Paris train station baggage locker. Ricin, along with acetone and ethanol, which produce a deadly cocktail, were found during a routine check of baggage lockers. (They can do that there?) This is especially interesting since the French wanted some harder evidence before joining the coalition, and were not convinced of the existence of chemical weapons in Iraq. Right. They were in Paris all along. They will, of course, find these weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, as Don Imus said on his nationally syndicated morning radio program this past week, “If we have to fly them in ourselves.” And they will do all of this in very short order or there will be Democrats in the White House for the next thirty years. All we can do now is wait and see what happens. We are powerless to do or say anything. All we can do is sit by the TV and watch the “shock and awe” unfold. It makes you hope the Homeland Security folks have their act together. I don’t think I could deal with that level of intensity happening in my neighborhood. As for the Iraqi regime, the handwriting is on the wall. Unfortunately, that wall is now at the bottom of a pile of debris and ashes. “Hey Fred!! Will ya look at that on TV.” “You betcha, pal. They’ve turned Baghdad into rubble, Barney.” And speaking of TV, did you see that clip of Saddam uttering his Babylonian Babaloney after President Bush made the announcement that it was time to pop the popcorn and pull up an armchair for the main event? That sure looked like one of the body doubles from Central Casting. Poor fools. I understand Saddam has at least a half-a-dozen lookalikes riding around in limos waving and smiling and pretending to be His Eminence, O Fearless Leader. This is really a tough gig for an actor, because not only is there a lot of smiling and waving, there will probably be a bullet in the head if he happens to be caught, just in case the troops think there’s a chance he’s the real Saddam. “Hey, man, don’t shoot me, please! I’m an actor.” “All the more reason. We hear all the actors are against the war. Take a bow, Bubba.” A front page picture in a recent New York Times showed an assault convoy of trucks and armored vehicles of the 101st Airborne Division’s Third Brigade Combat Team lined up in the desert looking as ominous as the 10,000 Orcs marching to attack Frodo and his buddies in Lord Of The Rings. There’s no way you’re gonna enjoy your lunch knowing this comes next. Cable news channels are having a field day- -literally. The journalists are all in the field, “embedded” with the troops. No sideline guessing this time. They begged the military to let them come along for the ride, and the boys at the top said “okay”, as long as the reporters didn’t reveal anything about where that ride was going or where it had been. The long-term results of this will be a major plus for the campaign. Journalists used to come to the battle front and report what they saw, but Vietnam put an end to that when viewers saw the reality of what was happening, compared to what the government line was. In Gulf War I news was nonexistent, except what was handed out by the top brass, and whatever Peter Arnett said he saw. And isn’t it great to see Peter back where he belongs- -reporting thirty feet away from live ordnance? Sure goes a long way to blot out that little glitch on his resume left over from “Valley of Death”, the CNN special about who poisoned whom in Laos in 1970 during the Vietnam War. The story was apparently true. CNN was pressured by the Pentagon and the CIA to retract the story and to fire Arnett. If they could muzzle the Pulitzer Prize-winning dean of war correspondents, they might control any flow of information, which they did all through Bosnia and Kosovo. But Iraq is too big a story and Arnett was the star of Gulf War I- -He’s betting his whole 40-year career that he will survive the sequel in order to redeem his career and reclaim his place at the head of the line. And finally the military has allowed a whole host of reporters along for the ride. As we know, the first casualty of war is truth. This time, however, it may only be wounded and not mortally so. Let’s hope it’s all over before you finish reading this. In the meantime, head for your bunker, Buster. Chicken Little was right. The sky is falling. Behold the Eye of the Tigress or be an old ’fraidy cat. Or perhaps just wade through the Tigris, unless you’re a- -you’re a- -(you know it’s coming)- -a Euphrates cat. I’m shocked and awed. Or maybe just shucked and odd. I gotta go put my gas mask on.
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