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Danny |
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Dear Most Heavenly Father. Hello again. It’s me, George. I am come to you today in prayer to thank you for giving me guidance in the smoting of mine enemies and Yours with the mighty hand of freedom which you have given to me exclusively, well, except for that little bit that you have given to Tony Blair and the Spanish guy. Thank you again for making me President, even though the majority of the American people did not choose me, and thank you for not forcing me to follow those parts of The Good Book where Jesus says “Turn The Other Cheek” or Moses says “Thou Shalt Not Kill”. I know these are important passages for some people, but thankfully you have chosen to guide me with other Biblical sayings as my fingers fall upon the Bible’s pages as if upon a Ouija board. As you have said in Psalm 106, Verse 18: “And a fire was kindled in their company; the flame burned up the wicked.”- -so have we fired upon the wicked and burned up presidential palaces, governmental installations and the occasional outdoor market place. We have also burned the American taxpayer who must foot the bill for all of this. But I have issued an Executive Order that will cover all of this as if it were an actual law, and as You say in First Timothy Chapter One, Verse 8: “But we know the law is good, if a man use it lawfully” and that’s what we shall do. As Paul said in his Epistle to the Hebrews, Chapter 5, Verse 2: “Who can have compassion on the ignorant, and on them that are out of the way”- -I appreciate You having said that and for having compassion on me, Your ignorant servant. As the Psalmist says in the 92nd Psalm, Verse 9: “For, lo, thine enemies, O Lord, for, lo, thine enemies shall perish; all the workers of iniquity shall be scattered.” And I take that to heart, Heavenly Father, and offer myself up as one of the scatterers who will make thine enemies perish- -thine and mine- -especially if they have weapons of mass destruction or not, and especially if they have the second largest oil reserves which rightfully should be ours to administer. Moreover, Heavenly Father, I have come to appreciate the Apostle Paul when he said in First Corinthians Chapter 4, Verse 4: “For I know nothing by myself.” I agree with that. I depend on Cheney and Rummy and Wolfy and Condi, for I know not of mine own mind. Thank you for delivering them unto me. And as Paul continues in Verse 10: “We are fools for Christ’s sake.” Now who can argue with that? I know You guide me, O Lord, and that You are on the side of righteousness for His name’s sake. As it is written in Amos Chapter 2, Verse 2: “I will send a fire upon Moab, and it shall devour the palaces of Kirioth: and Moab shall die with tumult, with shouting, and with the sound of the trumpet.” And we have sent fire upon Baghdad, and it shall have devoured the presidential palaces. We are still looking for a trumpet, however, although we do have a few bugles. In the words of Our Lord Jesus in the book of Luke, Chapter 22, Verse 10: “Nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom” and I thank you for pointing my fingers to these words, for that is exactly what we are doing. Now I noticed that You didn’t have Jesus mention France by name, but I believe I am able to discern Your meaning, especially when Jesus continues in Verses 16 and 17: “And ye shall be betrayed both by parents, and brethren, and kinfolks, and friends, and some of you shall they cause to be put to death. And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake.” Boy, if that ain’t a reference to them, I don’t know what is. Finally, O Lord, I want to thank You for helping me to find passages in Your Good Book that justify me going to War against the wishes of many good people in this world today. I could not have done it without You. Otherwise, I, George W Bush, could have only found words about Peace, Forgiveness and Redemption in Your Word, and You and I both know that that wouldn’t have been a good thing at this point in time. Thank you for helping me to read Your Word and interpret it according to my needs, and the needs of my friends at Bechtel and Halliburton and other worthwhile folks. With Your help, we shall smote all those who should be smoten, and smite all those which should be smited. That is my prayer to You today. Give my best to your friend Allah. I pray these words in Jesus’s name, and in the name of all good Americans everywhere. God Bless America, and no one else. Amen.
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