4-1-02, Danny McBride
When Bush Comes to Shove
By Danny McBride
IPS Features
The doctor leaned forward toward me, grabbed my wallet and said “Turn your head and cough”. I did as I was told. Then he handed me a little plastic cup and nodded towards the bathroom. I went in and got a drink of water. Then he asked me to remove my shirt, which he kept. It turns out that my insurance company has applied the cost of my shirt to my deductible.
I might as well tell you all the details of my checkup right now because soon everybody will know anyway. Why? Because President Bush has proposed dropping the rules that protect the privacy of medical records so you can find all this out for yourself soon. Well maybe YOU can’t but hospitals and members of the “Health Care Industry” will be able to.
According to the proposal reported by Robert Pear in the New York Times, doctors and hospitals will not have “to obtain consent from patients before using or disclosing medical information for the purposes of treatment or reimbursement.”
The announcement was made by the Secretary of Health and Human Services Tommy G Thompson. The “G” stands for “Goober”. Mr Thompson said the process of obtaining consent could have “serious unintended consequences”, like, I suppose, someone not wanting their medical records made public knowledge.
“Yes I have had several stitches to my penis but I can explain.”
These new proposals would make it unnecessary for health care providers to get your written consent before disclosing medical information for treatment, or the payment of claims, or any of a whole bunch of other so-called “health care operations”, like setting insurance premiums. It won’t be long before your insurance company claims that breathing is a preëxisting condition.
You know something evil is afoot if the “Health Care Industry” and insurance companies praised the new proposal. Immediately Senator Ted Kennedy, (D) Massachusetts, jumped up and demanded another glass of Chivas, or committee hearings or both.
Just a quick aside- -This phrase “Health Care INDUSTRY” makes me a little uneasy. Not far from where I live in Los Angeles there is a Budweiser brewery- -Huge. We used to have a General Motors plant- -monstrous physical buildings. And not far away a Lockheed airplane factory. Beyond belief. And we still have three major movie studios close by- -Warner Brothers, Universal and Disney. These are the kinds of things I think of when someone uses the term “industry”- -Huge tracts of land and buildings for miles.
Of course I don’t mind anyone earning a buck from their endeavors. If I want to see a movie I spend the money. If I don’t want to see it, I don’t have to. But I don’t have a great deal of choice if I have to go to the hospital. Oh, yes, I suppose I have a choice. I can go, or I can lie down and bleed.
Why is it that in the “civilized” world we are the only country that considers the well-being of others fair game for profiteers? “Oh boy!! A broken arm!! I know how to fix that!! I can make me some money!! And I can charge an arm AND a leg!!”
This is going to play out like the arsenic in the drinking water or the upping of the acceptable salmonella levels in school lunch meat.
The new rules which the Bush Administration is shoving down our throats- -everybody say “Aaahhhh”- -will affect every doctor, patient, hospital, pharmacy and health plan in the United States. Anyone who violates the rules set to be finalized by April 2003 will be subject to a $250,000 fine and ten years in prison.
“Say, Lefty. Whad’ya say yooze was in for?”
“Ten years. I refused to disclose my medical records. I violated the medical privacy disclosure policies of George W Bush. It was not even a law enacted into being by Congress- -just Bush Administration policy with the force of law.”
“Geeze, dat’s a tough one. I’ll be t’inkin’ ‘boutcha when I gets out in three to five for aggravated assault, robbery and attempted homicide.”
The Bush Administration made the changes in the privacy rules after listening to the concerns of companies in the “Health Care Industry”. You and I will not have a say in this. Congressional committee hearings in the next month may make a little noise in the press, but with everything else that’s going on- -the middle-east mess, Afghanistan, Enron, and Liza Minnelli’s wedding- -we probably won’t hear much about it.
So I’m just gonna take the old Lyndon Johnson approach and pull open my shirt and show the world my operation- -the one that still allows me to pick up dogs by their ears.
You want my medical records without my consent? Sure. Why not. But the only really good ones I have are by Doctor John. Okay, I also have some Doctor Hook. Oh, and Doc Severinsen. And oh yes- -I have Otis Redding- -Dock Of The Bay.
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