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Danny |
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Black Flag Ant and Roach Killer. Or Raid. Do they even make a moth killer? Hmmm….Yeah a raid. That’s what’s needed to get rid of these annoying pests. Or maybe inspectors. Closet inspectors. Closet to closet with serious mothballs. Knock. Knock. “Hello ma’am. We’re here to inspect your, your, well…we can’t tell you. It’s a secret. We’re closet inspectors. Some day we’ll come out of the closet, but not right now.” For a long time we have been trying to keep the wool that’s pulled over our eyes from being eaten away by the woolly moths that eat woolly things. If we were able to actually see what is going on in Iraq as the search for WMDs continues, we might start to notice that the so-called chemical and biological weapons, and the evidence of their ever having been manufactured, not to mention the possibility of nuclear weapons, has been confined to the discovery of two tractor trailers that might have been mobile labs. The fact that they were discovered at a truck stop near Barstow and transported to Iraq while the two good ole boy drivers were inside having their third slice of pie and shopping for size 54 Levis doesn’t ever get mentioned. As radio funnyman Don Imus said months ago “We’re gonna find those weapons if we have to fly them in there ourselves.” The Associated Press has reported that both Secretary of State Colin Powell and National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice have expressed confidence that Iraq’s WMDs will be found. One of the reasons given by the Bush administration as to why they have yet to materialize is because Iraq concealed its banned weapons so well. (Sort of a Bio-Chem Hide’n’Seek game.) The administration also says that once they interview scientists and pore over documents, they will find the hiding places. It’s like a scavenger hunt, which is a game you play where you hunt scavengers. You know it’s going to get entertaining when members of Congress call for an investigation. This time it’s about how solid our intelligence information about Iraq has been. (Hint: It will probably turn out to be about as good as our intelligence was about the advance warning for Nine-Eleven.) Senator Carl Levin (D-Michigan), the top Democrat on the Senate Armed Services Committee, said he “wants a full-blown congressional investigation”. I wonder if this includes interns. “I think the nation’s credibility is on the line, as well as his”, Levin said, referring to President Bush. “This nation has got to lead in this world. If we’re going to really lead in a war against terrorism, we must have people who believe in us, who, when we say something is true, believe that it is true. And there is real doubt now that that is the case, because there’s too much evidence that intelligence was shaded.” And then he added something about sharpening crayons and coloring outside the lines. Naphthalene. That’s what that smell is when you visit your old Aunt Fannie and the house smells like it’s gone to the embalmer. Naphthalene is what they make mothballs out of. It’s made out of coal tar. It’s referred to as “an aromatic”. Ha!! That’s just because its smell is overpowering. And also because it works by diffusing into the air. That’s why you keep clothes sealed in a bag when you store them with mothballs. The fumes disperse and kill off the little baby moth larvae. It’s a hydrocarbon that contains two benzene rings fused together between two adjacent carbon atoms. But you knew that already. What we don’t know already is whether the Cheneys, the Rumsfelds and the Wolfowitzes of this administration cooked the books on what little intelligence they did have in order to justify this war to a president who was dying to fight anybody- -somebody- -preferably an Arab or anyone who could be tied to Al Qaeda, or Nine-One-One, or just about anybody we knew we could beat in three weeks or less, especially those who were on the Axis of Weasels hit list. (And cooking the books is so “in” these days.) And, of course, better to fight the country we know doesn’t yet have nuclear weapons, than to fight either of the other two who do. Just this week North Korea has rattled its nuclear sabre at us once again. I’ve said this before, but it’s because of that dang James Bond movie last year where the North Koreans, although they are the bad guys in the movie, were all-powerful. The flick has just been released on DVD and video. Once again Li’l Kim is watching too many movies. (HINT: and I hope I’m not spoiling it for you if you haven’t seen it yet, but James Bond wins.) Will the Brits and Americans win this PR war over the Weapons of Moose Destruction? “Eenie-Meanie-Chili-Beanie”. Will Saddam Hussein continue to win the Treasure Hunt “Hide-A-Clue” Bio-Chem home game? Will the two truckers in Barstow realize their rigs are gone? Stay tuned for the further adventures of “Bushie the Lying Squirrel” Episode 2004, entitled “The Euphrates ’Fraidy-Cat” or “A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moth”.
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