9-23-01, Danny McBride, 853 words
Fax, Fries and Videotape (Rentals)
By Danny McBride
IPS Features
In my very multi-cultural Los Angeles neighborhood I’ve been noticing a small business trend. I’m not sure when it started, but I am sure it goes on everywhere now. Small “Mom & Pop” style shops, mostly in mini-plazas next to an anchor store such as a Seven-Eleven, have gone “combo”. They’re not just barber shops or pizza take out anymore, but combos.
Within a couple of blocks from here is a place that advertises “Auto Insurance, Income Tax and Hair Salon”. “A little off the sides, cut it short in the back, and how much do you think I’ll get back from George W’s great refund?”
Not far away is a restaurant specializing in “Chinese Food & Donuts”. I’m thinking: “Chow Mein for breakfast or a kung pao glazed?”
Now I guess if you’re going to drop some dim sum in hot oil you might as well drop donuts in during the morning so you can be open all day. And if you and the missus want to share work space, I suppose she can do hair while you write up collision and theft- -Or maybe you do the rinse and set while she writes the policies. Or maybe one person does it all. I should check.
The trouble is, when I want car insurance, I go to a regular brand-name insurance agent. I guess that’s just the old-fashioned part of me. When I want donuts, I go to a donut shop. Is that so wrong? (Actually yes it is- -I DO NOT need to be anywhere near a donut shop.)
Back in my days as a full-time musician, a fellow gave me his business card in case I should need a replacement player- -It said “Bass Player/House Painter”. It got me to thinking: If he’s such a good house painter, why would he need to be out half the night in smoky bars playing bass in a band---OR---If he were that good a musician why would he need to be painting houses? He was probably good at both. Who knows?
Of course we all do many things. It’s just that sometimes reading it all on one sign or one business card is a bit overwhelming. I think it’s best to have separate calling cards so as not to confuse the prospective client, unless the jobs are related: “Meat Cutter/ Taxidermist.”
But I guess that notion is history. Either someone changed the rules or there are now enough people who expect multiple services at any given stop. Saves time. Within a mile or two there are some mighty incongruous combinations: “Fax, Copier, Videotape Rentals, Ethiopian Food”. “I’ll take the new Harrison Ford, a copy of my auto insurance policy, and fax me the soup of the day.”
“Fried Chicken, Ice Cream, Used Auto Sales.” “How much for that Buick? Yes, mint chip, and a bucket of wings. Yes I already have insurance. How do you like my haircut?”
“Nail Salon, Bagels, Psychic”. “I see in the cards that you will soon get a hangnail which will require immediate attention- -do you want cream cheese with that?”
“Dry Cleaning, Alterations, Watch Repair, Shoes.” “Pharmacy, Bakery, Law Office.” I know you think this is all made up. If I were able to attach photos I would. You’d see. Look for these places in your own neighborhood. Let me know what you find.
One of my local favorites is an Armenian Market which advertises “Middle-Eastern, Mediterranean, Greek Food, Chiropractic.” “I’d like the olive and feta cheese on pita bread and a slight adjustment to my lower back. No, the hummus on the side.”
“Optometrist, Attorney.” I actually went here for my glasses. It’s one guy who is both an eye doctor and a lawyer. I like my glasses , but I have not yet tried the legal services. I suppose he’s best at negotiations- -helping people see eye to eye.
“Travel Agency, Passport Photos, Dentist.” This almost makes sense. “I’m going on a trip
and I’d like my teeth cleaned before I go. I’m really chomping at the bit to get away.”
“Notary, Insurance, Kids Clothing.” “I’d like to see something for my eight-year-old nephew, please, and have it insured and notarized.”
Much of this is a sign of the times as émigrés attempt to get a foot-hold in a new land, and set up shop with the whole family doing whatever they can to turn a buck. Some of these may grow into the department stores of tomorrow offering every service imaginable. Of course none of this is new. I know a fellow who was being shown around by a real estate agent who, failing to sell a house, offered up Amway products. So go ahead and combine services. I’m all for it. Sure makes some things a lot more convenient.
For example- -The car needs an oil change and I think I may have a cavity, one molar is so sensitive. So I’m going out to my local gas station-dentist. Brings new meaning to the term “filling station”.
-30-
Return to Current IPS Features