Lisa Laird, 657 words
Lisa's Lair
By Lisa Laird
IPS Features
SHAME
ON EMBARRASSMENT
What is
this thing called embarrassment? Where’d it come from? How does it
plague us? And most importantly, how do we get rid of it?
Defeating detrimental feelings of embarrassment may very well be the most
significant battles we ever fight in our personal lives.
Embarrassment is
defined as experiencing distress and self-consciousness. In other words,
suffering due to being uncomfortably aware of oneself as an object of
observation. I suppose that the
onset of embarrassment’s wrath begins at an impressionable age in each of us
when we are ridiculed unmercifully or simply teased playfully. The self-assessed
trauma becomes a permanent brand on the unsuspecting psyche and creates a
perpetual sore spot carried heavily over one’s shoulder
When perceived to be in such predicaments, we are painfully jolted.
Mind, body, and soul. The sensitive
blemishes are depressed further and further as a result of the damaging weight
each fresh bruise produces.
This
self-afflicted punishment, correctly utilized solely when purposely wronging
others, reaches out far beyond its useful task. Instead, it mainly focuses itself on casting its threat to
inhibit people from standing out from the crowd and making unconventionally
daring moves. The fear of
embarrassment is the nonhuman blackmailer.
Milestone
decisions pondered, but not executed, are often halted by this genre of
blackmail. Once we’ve accepted its terms after being caught with our
pants down, so to speak, we make a point to avoid future entanglements at all
costs. How much is the market value
of a foolishly tossed dream?
Certain
situations tend to evoke automatic responses when repeatedly rated so
dangerously on the embarrassment meter; declining from the entire activity
becomes an eventual given. For
example, a group of people is invited to a party and the band begins to play
music. One of the guests is
watching a few peers dance.
Wow, they’re
terrific dancers, he thinks to himself. He
may want to join the festivities and debates whether or not to get up and
boogie. But he just can’t get up
the nerve. Why is that? He tells himself that he can’t even come close
to comparing with the pros out on the floor; therefore, there’s no sense in
trying. The sad truth is that he can’t get up the nerve because he’s
afraid of embarrassing himself in a social setting. What he fails to
realize is that all the others are fixated on themselves, just as he is; they
aren’t interested in how well he can dance.
But he perceives
they are. Anyway, this gentleman
I’m referring to has an internal struggle with himself causing stress and
nervousness to enter the intimidating picture. Rather than smacking away
the remote possibility of hearing ridicule from surrounding spectators buzzing
around, he remains immobilized behind the railing.
To remove
subsequent conflict, he may adopt the notion “I don’t dance.”
And that gets
him off the sharp hook with others as well as himself. If we water the
seeds of embarrassment with regular consistency, we’ll eventually grow gardens
of strongly rooted wallflowers.
Fear of
embarrassment is a useless and totally unproductive waste of time and energy;
more so, it is a major hindrance to leading well-directed, happy lives.
Thus, a poison in the medicine cabinet of life that must be discarded
immediately, as I’m sure the expiration date is a certified relic.
When thoughts
cross our minds and we find ourselves asking silently what others would think if
we were to take particular actions, we must stop and change our thought
processes. As long as no illegal or immoral deeds would be committed and
no one would be intentionally harmed, forget about anyone else’s opinion.
Get over fearing
embarrassment; take a stand. And if others are looking at you intently,
it’s for one reason and one reason alone; they only wish they had your nerve.
Whether you
waltz, tango, jitterbug, or do the funky chicken, just get up.
And start dancing.
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