3-22-02, Lisa Laird
Lisa's Lair
By Lisa Laird
IPS Features
The Promise of a Ring
As the world turns and variables change throughout the
progression of time, my belief is that one event continues to be hoped for,
awaited, and passionately welcomed. There’s
something perpetually new and exciting about the anticipation of receiving a
much desired phone call. A heart
racing sense of suspense accompanies the uncertainty of the possible occurrence;
even its ring elicits a tone of impacting surprise.
And the questionable outcome is anyone’s gamble, anyone’s guess.
Emotional energy and activity are peaked at optimum
performance during those last moments of estimated arrival.
The excitement mixed with shades of nervousness and anticipation provokes
the coolest, most calm and collected of us to become jittery.
Ordinary sounds in the environment routinely unnoticed
suddenly send the most grounded individuals to jump out of their skins.
Scary stuff.
I’ve decided that there is an automatic response
activated in such situations. Joy
and optimism occupy one’s thoughts leading up to the calculated time frame.
During the final hour, feelings and expectations are gradually
heightened, escalating severely in the fifteen-minute period prior to the moment
of truth.
When the designated time clearly arrives, the phone is
silently or verbally mandated to ring. As
the seconds tick by with no audible action, panic begins, but insistence that it
will soon happen still prevails. We know that there are two outcomes to consider in this given
scenario. Either the phone call
will occur or it will not.
The latter is an absolute ego-blower, therefore, we tell
ourselves anything and everything to rationalize what happened to our tentative
calls. We may blame it on any one
of a hundred emergency
situations, misunderstandings in communication, technical problems with phones,
or even unsynchronized clocks. Extremely
unsynchronized clocks. We must calm
our emotionally impulsive sides down and keep them soothed for as long as
possible. With any luck at all,
that monumental call may just get through.
And if it does, the pressure is off and the world is once again a
wonderful place.
But if it does not, the world is not such a wonderful
place; it is disappointing, unfair, and heartbreaking.
Not receiving the one call that would have meant everything at the time
is one of life’s cruel little jokes. Acceptance
may come sooner or later. Perhaps
self-fabricated excuses ease the pain.
I’ve agonized through the processes yielding both end
results. I’m fortunate to admit
that I’ve smiled more than I’ve sulked.
Even a few phone calls that were against all odds have taken place; I
treasure them dearly. I also
remember the few that failed to transpire and was left with an emptiness that
may permanently be barren, reminding me that nothing can be taken for granted.
A relationship is a two-way street; no matter how strongly one side
feels, the other cannot be compelled to offer the same in return.
It’s a valuable lesson that I would’ve preferred not to learn from my
own personal experiences.
I find myself expecting special phone calls these days,
just like days of old. When I
anxiously grasp the receiver upon hearing the wonderful ring that wakes up my
dormant spirit, I have renewed faith in all that I believe. All absorbing, perceptively significant phone calls will be
remembered throughout the years. Now
and then, conversations may be revisited, allowing the past to be momentarily
mistaken for the present.
In the absence of hearing the joyous ring, I am forced
to nurse my wounds after the benefit of every doubt has been given.
I remind myself that I’ve had at least my fair share of happy endings
and tell myself that tomorrow can bring new possibilities.
As for the next time, whenever it shall be, I’ll be ready, hopeful, and
waiting.
Once again, by the phone.
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