4-29-02, Lisa Laird

Lisa's Lair
By Lisa Laird
IPS Features

DON’T FEAR COURAGE

In my continuous quest to conquer the real game of Life, I’ve yet to figure out the best strategy for winning.  Board games are easy; they come with instructions and most players follow all the rules, concentrate, and do their best as masters of their own minds.  The cheaters don’t play fairly; they spend time swindling the others with their tricky maneuvers.  Contrary to childish proverbs, they often do succeed.  Those who win fairly behold the sense of unforeseen triumph, the belief that all good things are indeed possible.  The cheaters merely put their wins on the crooked shelf to reside with the other tainted transparent trophies.  Meanwhile, the losers of the game want desperately to win the next round.  The stronger the drive is to win, the harder they will attempt to triumph.  The question we must all ask ourselves is this:  Is it the fear of losing, rather than the glory of earned success, that can push us into duping the others when faced with the ultimate decision regarding how to play the game?

Fear versus courage.  If we’re honest with ourselves, we know which one commands each of us in every day life.  Most people possess a little of each, but one does prevail.  I have recently asked myself the following question, and urge you to ask yourselves the same:  Is my life the way it is because I am a victim of fear, or, as a reward of determined courage?  And be honest with yourselves.

I am an avid believer in consistency, persistency, and fulfillment of goals.  As my past decisions have affected where I am today, my present decisions will surely influence my future.  I have envisioned my place in this world five, ten, and even twenty years from now, and know where I’d like to be.  Some may say I am wishing my life away and it is wiser to live day by day, enjoying the here and now.  They’re misguided about my philosophy.  Each day is a precious gift and I try to live each one to the fullest.  However, I’ve got to picture the “Land of Oz” in order to persevere with my journey.  Just as “Dorothy” relied on the powers of the mind, heart, and courage to see her through, so must I.

I don’t know how many choices in my life have been arrived at due to fear rather than courage; I’m sure quite a few.  I do know that my greatest regrets were results of acting out of fear.  Whether driven by the fear of disappointing others, the fear of what others may have thought, or the fear of perceived failure, they’ve all been detrimental to the acquisition of happiness.  At this stage in my life, whenever major decisions arise, I owe it to myself to admit my underlying motives for the choices I make. 

Over the years, I’ve spoken with male and female friends about the concept of living life.  Many of them have shyly admitted that they’ve surrendered to emptiness and blighted hope which they accept as “that’s the way life goes.”  They don’t dare change their unhappy lives, as fear of the unknown freezes them like helpless ice cubes stuck in a tray.

As a society, we love books and movies where ordinary people stand up and take action.  I, myself, can’t get enough of these brave souls who rise above themselves and do what must be done to prevail.  The notion of escaping our simplistic selves and becoming the champions we dare dream to be energizes us for the allotted time frame.  We admire and envy those who have captured the lives they had hoped and strived for. 

Sadly, most of us allow the chains of fear to stifle our ability to be courageous and live the lives we’ve daydreamed about.  Our minds are hindered from actually devising plans to make our personal heavens possible.

If I play my game of Life with stubborn courage, even when fear uses its intimidation, I automatically win.  If I play the game with fear as my guide, I can only lose.  And in the end, when I reflect upon the way I’ve lived my life, played the game, I hope to proudly credit mostly myself for going the distance and creating my happiness.  Should I have fallen short of the finish line, though somewhat bitter, I will have no regrets knowing I genuinely tried my best to conquer the game.

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