8-17-02, Lisa Laird
Lisa's Lair
By Lisa Laird
IPS Features
Individual uniqueness does not prove one’s
differences. We are told that life
offers many choices, many options; we believe it. From clothes to cars, homes to careers, vacation spots
to restaurants, we pick our preferences and pride ourselves on customized
decisions. But are we truly in the
unparalleled positions we think we are?
For example, the “one of a kind” sports car you
proudly drive off the lot, really, is not.
Sure, you’ve chosen an assortment of minor details, including color and
various options. This car has your
name written all over it; it’s totally you and this powerhouse on wheels
reflects your attitude. You will
win approval from passersby and feel like a million bucks, although the auto
didn’t cost quite that much. Then
again, after insurance payments and gas prices these days, it just might.
There’s one factor that we overlook in our egotistical
glory: There are thousands of cars
on the road exactly the same as the above “one of a kind,” custom-made car,
thanks to the establishment of the assembly line.
The same concept holds true when booking an exotic vacation, sitting in
the Business Class (formerly known as First Class, but sounds more politically
correct these days) section on an airplane, or joining an exclusive country
club. They may all be pricey, but
if a bunch of other guests or members are doing exactly the same, it really is
not as unique as we’d like to tell ourselves.
Basically, everyday sales are often accredited to the created illusion of
distinction.
Under the guise of priding ourselves on originality, a
large part of it is done for the benefit of fitting in, getting approval from
other self-labeled VIPs. Careful to
behave in a socially acceptable fashion in the public eye, the three sections of
the mind keep us in check. First,
the Ego is the rational sector, which beholds self-esteem.
Then, the Id is the unconscious, instinctual, impulsive component.
The third area is the Super Ego, which is responsible for the moral,
parent-like, “knowing right from wrong” awareness.
Ideally, the Id and the Super Ego balance out one another, allowing the
Ego to lead the way. We act the way
we are expected to act; we behave the way we perceive everyone else behaves.
Only in the confines of our minds dance the visions destined to live
unquestionably as pipe dreams.
A friend of mine brought up a good question a few weeks
ago. He asked, “What would you do
if you weren’t afraid?” I’ve
since given that question quite a bit of thought.
I realized that so many of the things I’ve considered, even if only
momentarily, we’re negated as self-imposed “cannots.”
I’ve placed invisible limits on myself as a result of how I was taught
to behave, the way I was programmed by the culture I reside within.
The times where I’ve broken out of the conventionality mold and
achieved my intended desires have been the best moments of my life.
I’ve learned that when others say, “You’re out of your mind,”
they’re actually stating, “You’re out of the mold the rest of us are
trapped in.”
It seems to me that within the four walls of
acceptability, we are all given a little leg room here and there.
Sort of like sitting in Business Class.
A vast number of small choices, even though not too exclusive and
individualistic, suffices the population as a whole.
Happiness derived from believing our tastes are somehow distinctive from
other human beings is more important than acknowledging the contrary.
Reality does not have the power that perception does.
Therefore, my conclusion is that it is not significant
whether or not your car is indeed the only one of its kind; it matters only that
you believe it is. It doesn’t
matter if many before you have arrived at the same personal decisions you have;
it matters only that you think they haven’t.
Lastly, it doesn’t matter whether or not your dreams are truly
possible; all that matters is that you think they are.
Most importantly, when conventional clones tell you that you’re “out
of your mind,” pick up momentum and keep on going. You just might be an authentic original after all.
And not merely because you believe you are.
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