8-22-02, Lisa Laird

Lisa's Lair
By Lisa Laird
IPS Features

NEW AND IMPROVED?

 Nothing I can think of sells products better than reinventing them as “new and improved.”  Those three words are sights for sore eyes and beautiful music to our ears; they smell sweeter than the fragrance of a dozen romantic red roses.  “New and improved” are fancy words for “old but altered.”  The latter holds more truth, however, the former holds more interest.

I often wonder what exactly prompts manufacturers to reinvent well-established, frequently sold items.  They practically sell themselves and do not need any cheering on to do so.  Well-known brands of well-known products will continue to be purchased year after year, same as always.  No one’s complaining, so why make the changes?  Three less obvious valid reasons come to mind. 

First of all, jobs are created.  Whenever changes must be made in industries, masterminds are required to direct such revisions and workforces are assembled to make the plans happen.  Secondly, we are kept from straying to the competitors when the manufacturers tightly hang on to their individual portions of the illusory limelight.   And lastly, companies continually strive to achieve a perceived product perfection that would ultimately mesmerize customer audiences everywhere.

It cannot be argued that an increase in sales is the first priority.  This is largely achieved by attracting competitors’ steady buyers to test the “can’t be missed” upgraded products and dazzle them into switching to the “other side,” where the grass is always greener.  And laundry is undoubtedly whiter.  And teeth are undeniably brighter.  And weight gets noticeably lighter…without exercising or modifying unhealthy eating habits, of course.  Etcetera…etcetera…

I can’t help but feel an aura of wariness when I discover that products I’ve been using have, all of a sudden, become “new and improved.”  It makes me wonder if they were actually ineffective and I was moronically duped all those months or years of selecting my favored merchandise.  It dawns upon me that they weren’t as good as advertised, as good as they could have been.  And even more so, they most likely are not being improved to the best of their abilities.  Basically, they start as low-level as the makers can get away with, and improve in small increments every so often.  I’m aware that technology is habitually evolving, but what does that have to do with paper towels being more absorbent, or chips having better ridges to mop up salsa and various dips?  This must matter to enough shoppers, as these breakthrough improvements seem to be crucial and well worth the time, effort and expenses of advertising.

We are offered a glimmer of hope that these products are the material promises come true that we have been waiting for.  We experience a twisted thrill at the uncertainty of whether or not the products in question will live up to their newly paraded reputations and expectations.  We hope they do, but accept their flaws when they don’t.

Products are like people; they are what they are, and we become used to them as so.  They work in predictable ways and are capable of various levels of effectiveness.  We want to believe that, like people, products change for the better when they profess to and hope they are successfully transformed as “new and improved.”  We also understand, as human beings, how difficult it is to transform ourselves in a positive manner.  When those around us prove not to attain “new and improved” status, they are usually forgiven; we take for granted that they’ll be as non-judgmental and sympathetic in turn.  Very few of us meet the highest standards we set as ideals for ourselves.  And none of us have reached perfection, are currently reaching perfection, or will reach perfection.

Why should our products?

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