Sunday Journal, 516 words
Unopened Mail
By Dalton Roberts
IPS Features
Sy Safransky's Notebook – the next to last page of each issue of the
remarkable SUN MAGAZINE – is the main reason I take that publication. His
honesty is so acute it's like an exposed soul nerve. Something there always
nestles in my mind for days like a quiet bird incubating eggs.
In a recent issue he moved me with talk of the preciousness of our moments,
referring to a lost moment as "just one more piece of unopened mail."
One day this week I had no appointments. My deepest self always sighs on days
when I look at my calendar and have no appointments. It's a sigh of relief and
anticipation. Relief that I have nothing to force me into getting hustled away
from my big writing and bird-watching window. Anticipation of the pleasures I
know I will relish. I feel like a butterfly turned loose in a just-bloomed
garden of a thousand flowers.
It's not that I dislike appointments. Most of the things I get scheduled to do
are interesting but I have a wonderful way of floating among flowers on days
when there's nothing and no one to elbow into my awareness.
On those days, I leave no moments unopened.
GENTLE MASSAGE
I love a verse from Paul listing "gentleness and tenderness" as fruits
of the Spirit. Oh yeah, he mentions some other things that get a lot of
attention in sermons but I like gentleness and tenderness.
So much of what passes as love-making is merely aggression. There's a place for
it. I know that. At different times and on different occasions in our lives we
manifest caring and desire in dozens of ways. But the way that deeply nurtures
both the lover and the loved is the way of gentleness and tenderness.
In a talk I recall saying, "All that most marriages and romantic
relationships need is a good regular massage with a flickering candle and some
pleasant music. Any combination will work but the massage will work best when it
is slow, intuitive and gentle." Later a man told me, "That suggestion
enriched my relationship with my wife more than anything we had ever tried, like
trips together, time alone and talking out problems. It is a chance to show how
deeply and tenderly you care for someone."
It takes a little time but life is nothing but the use of time and if we aren't
going to take the time to live, why live?
Once a friend of mine was dying with a brain tumor. He was in a coma and I stood
there a few minutes feeling helpless and wanting to scream. Then I saw some
massage cream in one of those hospital paks. I gave him a massage from his top
to his toes. He smiled. The serenity of that smile enabled me to turn him loose
for his journey home. It was his goodbye gift, something I have always
treasured.
Gentleness is truly a gift of the Spirit but it sure can feel good to the body,
too.
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