4-23-02, Sunday Journal
Ruining a Discussion
By Dalton Roberts
IPS Features
I clipped an
article by Hugh and Gayle Prather on this day in ‘88. I want to share some
great wisdom from them and add something they left out;
They said the magic rules for ruining a discussion are to bring the matter up
when at least one of you is angry; be as personal as possible when setting forth
the problem; concentrate on getting what you want; instead of listening, think
of what you will say next; correct anything your partner says about you; mention
anything from the past that has a chance of making your partner defensive; and
end by saying something that will never be forgotten.
They missed one. Another magic way to ruin a discussion is to withdraw and say
nothing to anything the other person says. It can be called denial, withdrawal,
pouting or passive-aggressiveness.
If you find yourself with such a person, try to find an exit, just any door
leading from the place, and take it. Think long and hard about going back. If
you do, make sure it is in response to their contacting you and actually
discussing the problem.
Fence posts don't talk. So move them out of your life and move in a fence post.
At least you will have a place to hang some clothes.
DREAMS
Few things teach us more about our several selves more than dreams. Just
recently, a dream revealed a solution to a life situation for me/
Sometimes they just open a window and air out some old haunting fear. Carl Jung
said they reveal to us our "blind spots." Things our conscious mind is
intentionally or blindly repressing. I have found that a few are direct divine
impartations of vital information we need.
I have several dream books, including a half dozen on dream interpretation. The
best book by far is Wilda Tanner's "Marvelous, Magical, Mystical World of
Dreams," published bu Sparrow Hawk Press in Oklahoma.
The single technique I have found most helpful is to list all the nouns that
occur in your dream, and then list everything those nouns mean to you. Not to
the dictionary but to you.
Aside from self-discovery, it is one of the most fun things you can add to your
life.
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