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3-9-03
FORCE-FEEDING
YOUR VALUES
It is never a
good idea to try to force our values on another person. It causes
psychic indigestion and severe reflux.
The reflux will not be in the direction of your values. It will be just
the opposite. Sometimes they will actually vomit what you are trying to
cram down their throats.
Oh, I know you know what's best for everyone. I do, too. But this
precious life-saving information will just have to remain in the secret
chambers of our own mind and soul. It will come as a shock, but no one
wants it.
Even when most people ask you for advice, they are merely seeking
confirmation of what they have already planned to do. They are just a
tiny bit nervous as to the wisdom of the course they are planning and
want you to tell them it's OK. If you tell them to do what they have
tentatively decided to do, they will immediately smile and thank you
profusely. If you tell them something else, they will look down and
start hem-hawing.
We never know what is best for someone. We think we do, but we don't. We
may see them walking over a bluff and scream, "Stop! Stop! There's
a bluff there!" but how do we know walking off a bluff isn't a part
of their life plan? Their Karma? Maybe in another life they shoved
someone off a bluff and Life has determined they need to know how it
feels.
Would I try to stop someone walking off a bluff? Yes, I would. But if
that's what they wanted to do, they will find a way to do it. I am a
caring human and some things push me into action. But I know from a long
life of close observation that people are going to do what they want to
do and there is nothing we can do about it.
On this date in 1990, a dear friend was quitting a good job. I shivered.
I knew he would lose his health insurance and he had a wife and
children. He proceeded and after a few months of severe struggle, he was
lucky enough to return to his old job. I was glad I hadn't tried to
influence him because then I would have thought, "I told you
so." Nobody likes someone to say, "I told you so." It is
a fundamentally arrogant attitude. And always irritates the victim of
it.
We can consciously experience great joy each time we are able to resist
interference, to love the person enough to keep quiet, and to release
them to their own highest good.
~~~~~~
For back issues of My Sunday Journal and other features, go to
www.daltonroberts.com
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