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READING PEOPLE
The story is told that
when it began to rain Noah talked to the ducks and said, "Get into
the ark. There is going to be a big flood" and the ducks said,
"So?"
This makes the point that every creature is motivated or de-motivated by
different things. To achieve the results you desire in dealing with
people, you must learn to read them.
If you tell a masochist, "I am going to hurt you," you will
stimulate their flow of hormones and adrenaline. You will actually
arouse them. If you tell a sadist, "I am going to hurt you,"
you will only stir up adrenaline - no hormones. He will experience fear
and fear drives one into a fight or flight syndrome.
If you tell a sadist, "I love you and trust you," you will be
used. They might cloak their behavior in all kinds of positive packages
but they will use you. It's their nature.
When we go into the woods, we read animals for the sake of our own
safety. We react differently to possums and panthers. We react
differently to Copperheads and Black snakes. It seems that every cell in
our body becomes an animal reader. We are totally tuned in to our
environment.
We are alert and cautious as we walk around in the woods. It doesn't
mean that we hate animals or distrust them. It means that we are
intelligent enough to know they all have a different nature and some can
be a danger to us.
What's wrong with looking at people this way? We can believe all kinds
of grand and glorious things about human beings but candor compels us to
see that some of them are dangerous. The prettiest thing you will ever
meet in this life may be a narcissistic vampire who will drain your
blood, your soul and your bank account. The most grinny, gregarious man
you meet may be a serial killer (remember Bundy?).
The main counsel I would give myself if I was starting life over would
be, "Don't ever open yourself to someone's love or friendship until
you have read them objectively for a while." That may sound cold
but it is not. It is the same alert and cautious attitude you use when
you take a stroll in the woods.
The book Body Language by Julius Fast is a treasure. It is to people as
Roger Tory Peterson's Guide to Birds is to birds. It helps you identify
people and what they are likely to do for you or to you.
~~~~~
This column should be treated as copyrighted by the author or IPS
Features and is intended for individual readers. It should not be
reproduced as hard copy or electronically for commercial purposes
without permission. You can find other writings by Dalton Roberts at
DaltonRoberts.com.
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